


Murderer

by Jeonghanscheekbones



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Death, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Grieving, M/M, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self Harm, Slow Burn, Still plenty of cute moments, alot of crying, is this loss, very slow burn lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21882187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeonghanscheekbones/pseuds/Jeonghanscheekbones
Summary: Han Jisung is a murderer who walks free.What happens when the man who should be out to kill him, befriends him instead?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 8
Kudos: 129





	1. Chapter 1

**_8:03pm, Wednesday June 14th_ **

"DIE COWBOY DIE!" Jisung yelled, slamming his xbox controller down in front of him. He'd been playing video games on his living room floor all day and was growing frustrated with the boss level that he couldn't seem to beat. 

The golden sunset illuminated the room in a soft, hazel glow. It was beautiful outside, and despite vaguely wanting to savor it by taking a walk, Jisung couldn't manage to pull himself away from his tv screen long enough to actually enjoy it.  
He clicked "start new game" and waited for his FPS to appear on the screen. 

_*ring ring ring*_

He paused his game and picked up his phone, drawing it up to his ear, "Hi Mom, wassup?"

_"How's my little squirrel doing?"_

"Hehehe, good. How was work?" He asked, giggling at his mom's sweet nickname for him. 

_"Chaotic. The fashion industry always is. I'm afraid I have to work late, Sungie. I'm sorry, I won't be home until probably 10:00."_

"Oh..ok," Jisung stood up, pacing around the house as he listened to his mother speak. He wasn't really disappointed that his mother was working late, since she did it quite often.  
He wandered into the kitchen, mindlessly looking through the bare refrigerator and pantry. All they had were some containers of apple sauce and some miscellaneous canned vegetables, nothing worth making a dinner out of. 

_"I don't think we have much food at home, would you mind running to the grocery store and getting yourself some dinner? Nothing fancy, just some chicken or something."_

He peeked into the empty cabinets, "Yeah, sure. I'll head out right now," he grabbed his wallet from the counter, stuffing it into his back pocket. His hand absentmindedly grazed across the countertop as he walked out of the kitchen.

_"Thank you, Sungie. Oh, one more thing! That part of this town gets really sketchy at night, so PLEASE be careful and keep your wits about you,"_

Jisung stopped, listening carefully to her words. He took a step back and reentered the kitchen, where he spotted a large kitchen knife laying next to the sink.  
In a moment of pure impulse, he grabbed it, sticking the blade into his pants waistband and covering the handle with his jacket, "I promise I'll be safe, mom."

"Alright, Baby, I love you! Bye bye."

He put his phone into his back pocket, leaving his house through his front door and making sure to lock it behind him. He looked up, admiring the impending sunset that streaked the sky with orange and pink, "It's a beautiful night for a walk anyway," he whispered to himself, setting off on his trip to the store.  
-  
**_8:30pm._**

The streaks of pink that littered the sky before were now waves of deep purple, with twinkling stars occasionally popping up. The sun had set, and it was officially 'night'.  
Jisung made his shopping brief, buying only a box of fried chicken and some instant noodles at the grocery store.  
He opted not to stop and gaze at the delicious baked treats in the bakery like he normally would, instead heading straight for the check out line. He placed his food on the conveyor belt, pulling out his money to pay for it. 

"A kid your age shouldn't be out at this time of night, it's dangerous," the elderly check-out clerk remarked as she took his money and put the food in a plastic bag. 

Jisung's hand grazed the handle of the knife as he reached out to grab the grocery bag, "Aha yeah, uh, thank you. Goodnight," he mumbled, giving her a polite nod before quickly walking away. 

Upon exiting the store, Jisung looked around the darkened street that lay in front of him. It was void of any cars or people; illuminated only by the street lights, business signs, and moonlight. Police sirens could be faintly heard in the distance.  
Jisung glanced all around, making sure to be aware of his sketchy surroundings. He held tightly onto his grocery bags as he walked down the sidewalk. 

_*rustle*_

He stopped cold in his tracks when he heard a noise coming from the alleyway he'd just passed by. His heart thumped hard in the back of his head, his mouth going dry almost instantly. Looking around, he cautiously took a couple more steps, he grabbed the rubber knife handle, pulling it out of his waistband. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, a lump forming in his throat.  
The noise didn't repeat itself. All was perfectly quiet and still. Jisung sighed, nodding to himself as he turned around to continue walking-

"HEY! GIMME YOUR MONEY!"

A tall man wearing a black ski mask jumped out at Jisung, bracing him tightly by the shoulders. 

Jisung froze, consumed with terror. He couldn't think straight. He couldn't think at all. 

The man started violently shaking him, "I SAID GIVE ME YOUR MON-"

The blade of the knife plunged deep into his abdomen, making him let out a strained gasp, staying still for a moment before he went limp, his eyes fluttering shut. 

Jisung pulled the knife out, flinging it in the opposite direction; he turned and ran away, the last thing he heard was the sound of the man dropping to the ground behind him. 

He ran. He ran as fast as his legs would take him. He couldn't speak, he couldn't think, he just ran. Ignoring the pain that was taking over his body, mainly residing in his chest, he didn't stop running until he reached his house.  
He got to his front porch, fumbling around for his keys, hastily trying to open the door with shaky hand. 

Once inside his house, he slammed the door shut behind himself, leaning up against it as the exhaustion started to set in. He lulled his head back, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor with his knees drawn to his chest. 

The searing pain in his chest only got worse as he tried to actually breathe; but it was nothing compared to the grenades going off inside his head. He was firing on all cylinders and he couldn't take it. It was too much, it was all too much.  
The lump in his throat had reached its breaking point, making him let out a loud sob, hot tears spilling down his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt.  
He squeezed his eyes shut, putting a shaky hand over his mouth to muffle another son. He stayed there, crying, for he-didn't-know-how-long.  
He didn't know what to do.  
It hurt. Everything hurt.

-

**_11:00pm_ **

Jisung laid in bed, staring numbly at the ceiling. His eyes stung. A dull ache thumped in the back of his head. Dried tears had left his face feeling dry and sticky. 

He'd barricaded himself in his bedroom. He turned off the lights, shut the curtains, and unplugged his night light. He tried to remove himself from the rest of the world. 

He heard the front door open, followed by footsteps throughout the house. There was a gentle knock on his door, "Jisungie, are you awake?" His mom asked. 

He stayed silent. 

"Ok..goodnight.." She whispered, walking away. 

Jisung sighed, rubbing his eyes.  
Despite the room being almost completely dark, his eyes had adjusted to the lack of light. He could still make out most of the details of the room. It would never be dark enough. 

**_4:00am_ **

He'd counted the number of ceiling tiles at least 4 times. He'd replayed the events of the previous night at least 204 times. 

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the guy's face. He looked into the fearful, tear-filled eyes of that man. He could still hear the faint gasp that the man let out as the knife plunged into his stomach. He could still feel the Man's grip on him loosening as the life left his body. He could still hear the sound of the man falling to the ground behind him as he ran away.  
It made Jisung feel sick; not just normal sick. It was a deep, vile kind of sick, that sat like a brick in the pit of his stomach and would never go away. 

He glanced at the clock of the 1000th time. 

**_4:12am_ **

Jisung was still wearing his clothes from the previous night. He was still covered in dried tears, blood, and sweat.  
He dizzily pulled himself out of his bed, grabbing a change of clothes to take with him to the bathroom. Once inside, he locked the door, taking off his dirty clothes and placing them into the hamper. He chose not to think too much about the fact that he had a concerning amount of blood on his clothes. 

He hoped a hot shower would make him feel a bit better, but it didn't. He sat on the shower floor, pulling his knees up to his chest; the hot water enveloping him in a protective blanket. 

God knows how much time passed, he stayed there, sitting on the shower floor, zoned out, until the water started to run cold. He stood up, shutting the faucet off and stepping out of the shower. The reentrance to the cold air sent a chill down his spine. 

After drying off and putting on some fresh clothes, Jisung returned to his bedroom, flopping back down onto his bed. If he was lucky, he might capture a few minutes of sleep.  
If he was really lucky, he'd never wake up. 

**_7:30am_ **

His alarm clock only beeped for a couple seconds before he shut it off. He only got about an hour of sleep, but it felt like 2 minutes. He was tired, hungry, and brain felt like an emotional cement mixer. 

After laying there for another 10 minutes, dreading the day; he managed to pull himself out of bed. 

Jisung ignored the dizziness that overcame him, he tried to get the room to stop spinning. He forced himself out of his bedroom and shuffled over to the top of the stairs, leaning on the railing to maintain his balance. 

He heard his mother in the kitchen, most likely making breakfast. Food was the last thing he wanted at the moment, just the thought of it made his stomach lurch. 

He slowly descended down the stairs, gripping onto the railing for dear life as the lightheadedness started to go away. As he approached the bottom of the stair case, he heard voices coming from the living room; his mother must have the tv on. 

His bare feet came in contact with the cold, hardwood floor of the foyer, sending a shiver through his body. He took a few hesitant steps, approaching the kitchen. 

Jisung's mother was happily dancing around the kitchen, pouring coffee and flipping pancakes. 

He glanced at the television in the living room, it was tuned in to the local news station.  
The headline grasped his attention at once, even more so as the news anchor began speaking about it. 

_'A young man was found stabbed to death on a east side street corner last night. He was identified as 23-year-old Lee Hyungmin. The murder weapon was found lying only 12 feet away from the body, and it's currently being tested for the killer's DNA..'_

Jisung couldn't breathe, he felt like the walls were closing in on him.  
His stomach churned, his jaw tightly clenching at the sudden wave of nausea that overcame him. What little substance he had left in his stomach was crawling its way up his throat. He made a mad dash for the bathroom, the door slamming behind him as he lurched over the toilet. 

After vomiting up what little substance he had in his stomach, Jisung flushed the toilet and went to the sink to splash his face with cold water. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and red, tears falling down his colorless cheeks. His lips were dry and cracked, his hair disheveled. He didn't know when he started crying, but he was crying now. He was a mess; absolutely pathetic. 

A soft knock on the bathroom door startled him out of his haze, "Jisung, Honey? Are you ok?" His mom asked. 

Jisung knew what he had to do, he had no other choice. He couldn't escape his mistake.  
He opened the bathroom door, looking his mother with bloodshot, teary eyes. 

Her eyebrows were knitted together with concern for her son, the age lines in her face becoming more apparent. She placed a hand on his forehead, "Do you think you're getting the flu? Should we take you to the doctor?"

Jisung didn't say anything, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, burying his face into her shoulder, which muffled the sound of his sobs. 

"Oh, baby, it's ok..," She cooed, rubbing his back in an attempt to comfort him, "Honey, what's wrong? You can tell me."

He let go of her, sniffling, "Mom..Something happened last night.."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his trial out of the way, Jisung is faced with a new obstacle: 10th grade.

**_12:37pm, Friday July 29th._ **

Jisung could feel 100 pairs of eyes staring at him with an unwavering stare as he sat in the defendant's booth. The court room was freezing cold, yet he was still sweating bullets. It had been hours. Security footage was played, he was called to the stand and viciously questioned, it was torture.   
Jisung had to fight the urge not to cry every second. His head was throbbing, his chest ached, his hands were shaking, and his legs felt like jello.   
He was on trial for killing someone; there was a chance that he'd be going to prison that day. He was absolutely terrified. 

Eventually, the Jury foreperson stood up and delivered the final verdict to the courtroom, "On one count of second degree murder, the court finds Han Jisung not guilty."

That was it. The court determined his actions as self-defense.   
Jisung let out a deep breath that he didn't know he was holding; he wasn't going to jail. He was ok. Everything was ok..

Once the court adjourned, his mother ran over to him, pulling him into a tight hug and refusing to let go for several seconds.   
After thanking the attorney, Jisung and his mother left the courtroom. 

As they were walking out the door, Jisung spotted who he assumed was Hyungmin's family; a haggard-looking old woman, who wore a black, knit shaul around her shoulders, she must be the grandmother. Next to her stood a handsome, middle aged man who stood with his back up straight and a tight-lipped scowl painted onto his face, must've been Hyungmin's father.   
Behind both of them stood a tall, skinny boy with messy, black hair and a black face mask. Jisung made eye contact with the boy for only a split second before hastily looking away. That dude was intimidating. 

He winced at the sunlight as he exited the building. He shielded his eyes, looking down at he ground. This protected him from the bright light, but also from the hoards of reporters and news anchors who were surrounding him and his mother, shoving cameras and microphones in their faces. 

After the treacherous walk through the parking lot, Jisung and his mother reached their car. He settled into the passenger seat, sighing deeply as he buckled his seat belt. 

The ride home felt like a long one, though it couldn't have been longer than 20 minutes.   
He stared out the window, watching as the buildings and trees went by in a blurry haze. 

His mother was the first to break the painful silence, "Jisungie, it's all over now. Everything can go back to normal now that you've won your case," she said, glancing over to him every couple of seconds.

"Yeah..." 

"It's a shame you spent your entire summer vacation fretting over the trial.." She began, patting his shoulder, "At least you've got this weekend to relax before school starts again, yeah?"

He flashed a plastic smile, "I guess so," He mumbled, resting his head up against the car door, closing his eyes. 

-

Upon returning back home, Jisung went straight to his bedroom; closing the door behind him. He flopped down onto his bed, turning onto his side to face the wall, which was decorated with several pictures of him from years past. 

His eyes landed on his favorite one; an old Polaroid from 8th grade. He was standing next to Chan, who was his best friend back when he lived in Busan.   
They both had on custom tie dye shirts, and big braces-clad smiles on their faces.   
Then there was the photo right next to it, with his other best friend, Jeongin. They were sitting at a park bench, wearing matching pink fedoras and dabbing. It was cringy, yes, but they were laughing, and they were happy.

Chan and Jeongin stopped hanging out with Jisung after they started dating each other, they basically forgot he existed. Moving to a new town certainly didn't do anything to help rekindle the friendship. Jisung hasn't had a single friend since moving to Seoul in the spring; those pictures only reminded him of that fact. 

He stared at the pictures, swallowing down the lump in his throat, "Those photos only make me sad, why do keep them?" He whispered to himself, sluggishly walking over and ripping all of the photos from his wall, peeling up a teensy bit of paint with it.   
He tore the pictures up into a bunch of pieces and threw them in the trash, admiring his new, plain wall. He smiled to himself, this would be the start of a new phase of his life. Post-incident Jisung. New Jisung.   
Happy Jisung. 

-

**_7:00am, Monday August 1st_ **

Jisung smashed the off button on his alarm clock, rolling over in bed. He barely slept at all that night, granted he hadn't exactly gotten a decent nights sleep for the past month and a half.

He sat up, harshly rubbing his eyes until he saw black spots. After throwing on a pair of black jeans and a matching sweater, he grabbed his backpack and went downstairs.

"Morning Jisungie, you excited for your first day of school?" His mom asked cheerily from the kitchen; she had her long, black hair tied into a neat bun, and her lips were stained ruby red. 

_'Must be an important meeting at work or something'_

Jisung tiredly smirked, "Anything but excited," he groaned, grabbing a can of energy drink from the fridge, "Welp, guess I've got to head out if I want to be there on time."

She set her coffee mug down, approaching him, "Wait, you've got to eat breakfast, honey!" 

"I ate yesterday, Mama," he chuckled, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek, "I'll eat a good lunch, promise. Bye, love you!" He called, heading towards the front door. 

"Ugh alright, bye honey, I love you!" She called after him, watching as he walked down the driveway. 

Jisung started his walk to school. The sun was abnormally obstructed by clouds; it'd probably rain later that day.   
The evergreen trees that lined the streets rustled in the mild wind, it even tousled his hair a bit. 

He started to zone out, humming to himself as he continued mindlessly putting one foot in front of the other. The school was now within his field of vision as he approached the parking lot. He didn't pay any mind to the students already surrounding the building, keeping his eyes on the ground until-

**_*thud*_ **

"Ow!" Jisung got hit in the shoulder with a tennis ball, "What the fuck-" he looked up to see who the culprit was, but was cut off. 

"Killer!"

The shrill voice came from some squirrelly-looking freshman who stood by the garbage cans, another tennis ball in his hand. 

Jisung rolled his eyes, continuing to walk. He barely made it 10 steps before a banana peel hit him on the back of the neck. 

"Shouldn't you be in prison?" Another voice shrieked. 

The voice belonged to another random student, standing next to her car in the parking lot. She flipped him off, turning around and strutting away. 

Jisung looked around anxiously, hoping he wouldn't get attacked again.  
As he entered the school, he noticed how all of the students were staring at him intensely, scowls on all of their faces.   
He stared at the ground, just putting one foot after the other, attempting to ignore their vicious stares and taunts. 

Once Jisung got to his locker, he hastily flung the door open, shoving his bag inside, keeping only his history notebook and a pen. He slammed his locker door shut, speed walking to his first class of the day. 

-  
 ** _12:30pm_**

Walking through the halls felt like walking through a minefield. Jisung was half-expecting to get jumped, what with all the glares he was getting. He reached his locker, retrieving his lunch bag from it.

He trudged to the east side of the school, opening a door which led to a steep, dimly lit set of stairs. 

Upon reaching the top, he opened another door, which went to the roof.   
He looked out over the large expanse of concrete, 50 feet wide.   
He approached the ledge opposite the door, sitting down with his legs hanging over the edge.   
He took in the view of the town, it wasn't half bad. He could see the tops of the trees from up there, and It was nice and quiet. 

Despite not having much of an appetite, Jisung forced himself to eat his sandwich, since his mother would be upset with him if he didn't. He took his time, in deep thought while eating.   
He really hadn't anticipated that his classmates would treat him the way they did, though he understood them perfectly.   
Jisung WAS a murderer.   
Maybe he did belong in prison..

-  
 ** _3:15pm_**

The last bell rang, and Jisung left his math class. The hallway flooded with loud, boisterous students. He looked around, catching eyes with every other person he saw. He gaze ceased moving when met a pair piercing eyes from across the hall. 

_'Familiar'_

The stare of the stranger seemed to pierce through him. Jisung hastily looked away, shaking his head. He continued on his not-so-merry way out of the school, fielding dirty looks, and the occasional name-calling. It was at this point that he realized the possibility that every day was going to be like this for him. 

The rest of the year was gonna be rough. 

-  
 ** _7:30pm_**

"Jisung, honey, I'm home and I brought dinner!" Ms. Han called from the kitchen. 

Jisung slowly opened his eyes, rolling over in bed and glancing at the clock. He's intended on doing homework when he got home from school, but he ended up falling asleep.   
He lazily rolled out of bed, leaving his room and stalking down the stairs, "Hey, Ma. Good day at work?"

"Oh, very. My meeting went great! Mr. Min absolutely loved my idea about hosting a Halloween Charity Costume Gala," she gushed, putting dinner on the kitchen table. She sat a McDonald's kids meal in front of Jisung's chair, which he appreciated, considering his lack of appetite at the moment. 

He sat down, unwrapping his child-sized cheeseburger, "A charity gala?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. 

"Yeah. 90% of the proceeds go to the local orphanage," she said, sitting down across from him.

"What does that have to do with fashion?" He took a big bite of his burger, getting mustard all over his face in the process. 

His mother smirked, "Nothing, really. But it'll look good in the news, which is what we need. So, will you go?"

"Sure," he shrugged, wiping the mustard off of his face with the back of his hand. 

"What about you, how was your day, honey?"

Jisung plastered on a fake smile, "Pretty good. I quite like my math teacher this year. She's nice."

His mother took a bite of a chicken nugget, smiling at him kindly, "That's wonderful, dear. Have you made any friends?"

He hesitated to answer, looking down at his plate of food, "No, but maybe soon I will," he said, knowing that the statement held to truth to it at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung gets beaten up by a familiar classmate, and has to figure out how to hide it from his mother

**_7:03am, August 2_ **

Jisung rolled straight out of his bed, falling onto the carpeted floor, "Ow.." He groaned, slowly sitting up, harshly rubbing his sleepy eyes.

After using the bathroom and washing his face, he went back to his bedroom where he put on some black sweat pants a matching tshirt. He pulled a beanie over his head, tucking his hair up into it to get it out of his face. 

Grabbing his backpack, he left his room and hopped down the stairs, entering the kitchen, "Morning, Ma," he said, his voice froggy. 

His mother was sitting on the couch in the living room, sipping a cup of coffee and eating a bowl of cereal, "Morning, Sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. You?" He grumbled without really listening to the answer, grabbing a bottle of water and an energy drink from the fridge. He put the water in his backpack, and popped open the can of drink, "Alright, I gotta motor if I want to make it to school on time."

"Woah hold on, you gotta eat breakfast!" She protested, sitting up a little straighter. 

Jisung made his way over toward the front door, "I'm really not hungry. I'll have a good lunch though, promise. Love you, bye!" He called as he left the house, trudging across his front lawn and stepping onto the sidewalk in front of his house. 

The walk to school was similar to the previous day's. He chugged his energy drink, tossing the can into the first trash bin he walked by.  
He continued his walk for a while, taking in the wonderful weather that day. Everything seemed peaceful, maybe today would be better. 

Maybe. 

**_*thump*_ **

"Aah!! Fuck!" Jisung swore in response to the thump of a hard object on his back. He quickly spun around to discover the cause of it. 

He saw nothing but a basketball rolling away from him. Not a person to be seen. 

He continued walking, sighing and rubbing his back, "So they've upgraded from a tennis ball to a basketball, I see," he mumbled under his breath as he approached the school parking lot. 

He kept his head down as he walked through school, blocking out the glares that he knew he was getting.  
When he reached his locker, he looked up again, soon wishing he hadn't. 

The word _'murderer'_ was spray-painted onto his beige locker in dripping, blood-red paint. 

He let out a small gasp, frozen in his spot as he stared at the chilling word, a pit forming in his stomach.  
His backpack fell from his grip, landing on the floor with a thump, though Jisung didn't notice. 

Before he even snapped out of his daze, his face came into contact with a fist, which sent him falling to the ground, hitting the hard floor with a painful thud. Another fist plunged into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He could barely register what was happening. Hands were flying and people were yelling.  
He couldn't really see his attacker's face, for it was obstructed by a mop of messy, black hair. 

Jisung weakly tried to fight back, attempting to shield his face from any further punches that were being thrown at him. 

It was over before it started, the looming figure on top of him was pulled off. The yelling ceased, but the ringing in Jisung's ears didn't. 

He looked up, his head rolling to the side. His attacher was being restrained by a teacher.  
Jisung finally got a look at his face.

_Familiar_

It was the kid he saw in the hall yesterday, the kid who kept staring at him. 

Jisung's head was throbbing, he slowly forced himself to stand up, trying his best not to collapse right back onto the floor. His stomach hurt, his back hurt, his head hurt, and his face hurt. 

By this point, the black haired kid had sufficiently calmed down and the teacher was only holding him by the wrist, "You two! Principal Kim's office! Now!" He scolded, shoving them both in the general direction of the principals office. 

They walked in silence down the hall, both still breathing heavily, both refusing to look at each other. 

They approached the secretary's desk, heads still down. 

"What can I do for you kids today?" The receptionist asked. She looked about 200-years-old, and had glasses with a chain on them. 

"We got into a fight and Mr. Jeon sent us here.." Jisung said meekly, still clutching his stomach. 

"Alright, I'll go tell him you're here. Wait in those chairs," she pointed to the wooden chairs in the corner of the room next to Principle Kim's office as she shuffled over to his door. 

The two boys sat down in the chairs, still refusing to look at each other. Jisung, out of terror, and the other boy, out of unexplainable rage. 

After 5 minutes of painful silence, Jisung worked up the courage to speak to the boy, "Why.." His voice was raspy and barely above a whisper, "Why did you do that"

A beat of silence passed before Mr. Kim opened his office door, stepping out, "Lee Minho, I'd like to speak with you now."

"That's why," the boy rasped, standing up and following Mr. Kim into the office. 

Jisung's blood ran cold, he stiffened in his seat at once, his stomach churning.

_Familiar_

That was the kid he saw in the courtroom. 

That was Lee Hyungmin's little brother. 

"Lee Minho.." He whispered to himself, staring at the floor, "Oh my god.."

By the time Minho was done speaking to Principal Kim, it felt like an eternity had passed.  
He marched out of the room downtroddenly, his head hung low and a scowl in his face. Jisung eyes followed the boy as he left, half-expecting some kind of vague acknowledgement. 

"Han Jisung?" Mr. Kim asked, motioning for Jisung to follow him into the office. 

He did as instructed, sitting in the hard, wooden chair opposite Mr. Kim's desk. The principal was an older man, with a graying mustache and glasses. 

"Now Mr. Jisung, I've been informed that you were clearly not at fault for this incident and it was purely one sided. That being said, I've got no real reason to punish you," he explained pleasantly, resting his elbows on his desk. 

Jisung raised his eyebrows, "Great! So I can go then?"

"Well not so fast," he continued, running a hand through his thinning hair, "In regards to your..situation, I'd like to you to consider having a teacher walk you to each of your classes, just to prevent further bullying."

"Um..No thank you, sir. I'm fine really," Jisung insisted, hesitating before standing up, "I do have a question though."

Mr. Kim nodded, allowing him to continue. 

A beat of silence filled the room before Jisung answered. He hesitated before posing the question, "W-What happened to Minho? Like, how did you punish him?"

"He's been suspended for a week, and he has detention every Friday for the next month."

He gulped, biting his lip, "Can you..please just consider...lifting his punishment? Or maybe just making his punishment less bad?" Jisung asked in a hushed tone, biting his lip, "Please?"

The principal appeared taken aback by the question, "W-why would you want that?"

He sighed, glancing at the ground, "Because I kind of deserved it...Please, please just consider it!" He begged, his eyes widening. 

"I'll..think about it. You can go ahead and go now, thank you." Mr. Kim said shortly, gesturing for Jisung to leave. 

He complied, exiting the office and making his way back to his locker with his head hung low. He didn't dare make eye contact with anyone, he wanted to avoid another beating at all costs. 

\---

He sat uncomfortably in his seat throughout his first four classes.  
He was beginning to really feel the bruises that covered most of his torso face, the pain was tolerable, but certainly not pleasant. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in his phone screen. His left eye was decorated with blotches of sickening purple. 

What was he gonna tell his mom?  
She'd be so worried about him if she knew he got beat up.  
He ultimately decided he'd worry about it later. 

-

When it came time for lunch period, Jisung found himself in the same place he was yesterday.  
The roof. 

He looked out across the cityscape once he stepped out onto the roof, numbly breathing in the fresh, dry air. The clouds hung low in the form of thick fog, casting a dreary shadow over the city.  
Perhaps it was a projection of how Jisung felt, or just a coincidence, he didn't know.  
He approached the same spot in which he sat the previous day, his feet meeting the very edge of the roof.  
His toes actually went over the edge just slightly. He looked down at the parking lot below him, his thoughts swirling around his head, pulling him into a bit of a trance. 

'Maybe one day...but not today.'

He snapped out of gaze after several moments, carefully sitting down with his legs hanging over the edge of the building. He sipped his energy drink that he'd gotten from the vending machine at school.  
He gently touching his black eye to see how much it hurt, wincing at the dull ache, "I could use makeup to cover this up, I guess," he contemplated out loud. 

-

Stopping at the convenience store on the way home, Jisung headed over to the health and beauty aids isle. He eyed up the shelves in confusion before picking up something called concealer, which was kind of his skin tone and looked easy enough to apply. 

"I guess this'll cover up the 'ole shiner," he whispered to himself, looking at the product he picked out.  
He knew absolutely nothing about makeup, except for the fact that he thought concealer would cover up his bruise.

Before he left the isle to go pay, something else caught his eye.  
On one of the top shelves, sat a wallet-sized little eyeshadow palette, filled with different shades of greys, blues, and greens. There was even some glitter colors in there.  
Intrigued by the colorful palette, Jisung grabbed it off the shelf and went to the cashier to check out. 

After paying, he went over to one of the small tables at the back of the store which were designed for people to eat at. He set his stuff down and put the makeup on the table, pulling his phone out and opening Google. 

_How to apply concealer makeup_

He clicked the first article that came up. Using the small mirror inside his eyeshadow compact, he carefully dotted concealer around the bluish-purplish-greenish bruise on his left eye, blending it in with his fingers until it looked sort of natural.  
Then he took out the small brush that came with the eyeshadow and dipped it into the bright green color, putting some on his eyelid. 

The eyeshadow wasn't gonna help his black eye, but he was curious to try it. He though the colors were pretty, so maybe it'd look good on him. 

He put some blue on the outside of his eyelid, then some glittery silver on his crease. 

_'I've heard girls talk about the 'cut crease' before, I think that's what this is.'_

He didn't really know what he was doing, but he was enjoying himself. By the time he was done, he thought it didn't look too bad at all. 

He admired himself in the mirror, checking out his eyeshadow look when he was suddenly hit on the back of the head with a balled up McDonald's wrapper, "FAG!" A loud voice followed, bellowing throughout the store. 

Jisung sighed, putting his stuff into his backpack and standing up from his seat. He glanced around to see who'd called him a fag, but apparently they'd already left or something.  
He rolled his eyes, exiting the store and continuing his walk home.  
The harassment barely fazed him at that point. He'd already been beaten up that day, everything else was a walk in the park. Besides, Jisung thought he looked fabulous.

-

"Ma, I'm home! Sorry I'm late, I stopped by the convenience store on the way home," Jisung announced as he entered his house, dumping his backpack on the floor as he walked into the kitchen where his mother was preparing dinner. 

"Oh, how was school, dear-OH! Wow, I-uh-what's that?" Her line of questioning changed drastically when she turned around and saw Jisung's makeup. She came closer to get a better look. 

He shrugged, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water, "I wanted to try something different," he beamed, "What do you think?"

"You look perfect, as always," she cooed, walking over and giving him a kiss on the cheek, "How was school?"

He took a sip of water, stalling for a couple of seconds before he had to answer, just to mentally prepare himself for having to lie about it, "Hm, uneventful. Classes were normal. I had pizza for lunch, that was good haha."

"Good to hear! Just so you know, dinner isn't for another 2 hours," she said. 

Jisung, who'd just walked toward the stairs, stopped to answer his mother, "Hm ok, I'm gonna do some homework for a bit then."

Jisung went into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He collapsed face-first onto his bed, letting out a groan.  
Rolling over onto his back, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up Instagram.  
He scrolled through his feed, it was mostly just NCT and NU'EST updates. 

"Hm..Taeyong got a new haircut.." He mumbled to himself as he scrolled, blinking at the bright screen. 

He let out a small gasp when he saw a post made by his school's meme account.  
The account owner, who was anonymous, but was assumed to be a student, had posted a photo of Jisung's locker, captioning it "Big thanks to whoever did this. Now we'll all know where to find him, that dirty scumbag."

He drew his hand up to his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut, wishing the post would disappear.  
He opened his eyes and it was still there. 

"Fuck!"

He turned his phone off, tossing it to his side and rubbing his forehead. 

'Now we'll all know where to find him."

A pang of anxiety shot through him, making his stomach turn. He stared at his ceiling for several moments, fretting over what school would be like the next day.  
He was, indeed, completely fucked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung gets beaten up again, inadvertently causing him to make a much worse mistake later on.

**_7:33am August 13th_ **

Over a week has gone by since he got beaten up, but he was still incredibly gun-shy about going to school. He didn't feel safe there. After that post on Instagram that he saw, it was even worse. People were still making scary threats at him and bullying him at school. It was hell. 

-

Jisung arrived at school, walking to his defaced locker.   
Despite it being over a week since someone graffitied his door, the school hadn't bothered to paint over it because they didn't want to spend the money.   
He stared at it, mentally rolling his eyes at the thought of some meat-headed delinquent spray painting it on there as some kinda prank. 

**_*slam*_ **

The sound of his head crashing against the metal lockers rang through ears, rattling his brain. He fell to the ground, hitting his head again on the concrete floors. Fear shot through him, but he was in too much pain to make a fight or flight decision.  
He slowly opened his eyes, seeing who was the one who shoved him. 

Lee Seokun, linebacker on the school football team. 200lbs of pure muscle and idiocy. His head was shaped like a thumb and he had a gap between his teeth the size of a small parking space. 

Jisung groaned, rubbing the back of his head, "W-what the fuck.."

"This is for Hyungmin," the dude growled, kicking Jisung hard in the stomach. He stood over him, laughing triumphantly. His pig-like face twisted into a disgustingly malicious grin as he relished in the boy's suffering. 

Jisung let out a cry of pain, clutching his stomach. His whole body was shaking, mostly due to the pain. He feared he'd have a broken rib or worse once the beating was over.   
Seokun reared back to kick him again, but was met with a firm shove at the shoulder by someone else. 

"Hey, leave him alone, you've done enough!" a person announced, pulling Seokun away from Jisung.   
He looked up to see who it was.   
It was Minho, who was now walking with Seokun down the hall, holding him tightly by the back of the neck. 

Jisung closed his eyes, curling up into a ball and clutching his stomach tighter. He let out a groan of pain. His head throbbed horribly, and he felt like he was gonna either vomit or pass out.   
Just what he needed, another beating.   
How could this school year get any worse.   
-

After a brief trip to the nurses office to make sure he didn't have a concussion, Jisung went about the rest of his day, going from class to class, constantly suppressing the urge to cry. 

For lunch, he bought an energy drink and climbed up to the roof.   
He was starting to get comfortable with the feeling of his feet just inches away from the edge of the building.  
He was used to the view of the parking lot from 3 stories up.   
He stood on the edge of the roof for a couple of minutes, occasionally dangling one foot off, just to be cheeky. 

_'Maybe one day..but not today.'_

Jisung sighed, sitting down with his legs hanging over the edge. He cracked open his drink, taking a sip.  
The sun was actually out that day, forcing him to roll up his sweater sleeves to prevent him from breaking a sweat.   
He sat there in silence, flashbacks of that morning replayed in his mind.

_'That was for Hyungmin'_

"God, I'm such a disgrace. I'm a murderer, no wonder everybody hates me."

He pulled the pull tab off of his can, analyzing it carefully. His finger brushed against the sharp edge of the aluminum, letting an idea strike in his mind. He stared at the pull tab for several seconds more. 

"No. Absolutely not...unless?"

He grit his teeth, blinking harshly.   
For a moment, a brief moment, it was as if he lost control over his body.   
The movement happened too fast and before he could even fully make a decision, he'd already done it.   
A burning sensation spread through Jisung's pale forearm, coupled with a long, red line that trailed down it vertically. It was just a scratch, and the pain was nothing compared to bruises that covered his body and face from the beatings he'd received. 

He sighed, watching a droplet of blood trail down his arm and fell onto the brick of the building. He had to admit, what he did felt surprisingly relieving.   
Though that didn't make him any less ashamed of his actions.

Sipping his energy drink, his gaze moved to the view from of the city. He pulled his sleeve back down, letting out a sigh as buried his head in his hands. His whole body ached, that morning's beating still weighed on him.   
He gently rubbed his palm against his ribs, wincing at the pain. 

"Are you ever actually gonna jump?"

Jisung was startled by the voice, turning around to see who was suddenly standing behind him.

It was Lee Minho. 

He stood a few feet behind Jisung, his hands shoved into his pockets and an aloof expression on his face. He raised his eyebrows, still expecting Jisung to answer, "I mean, I see you standing up here, right on the edge of the building, acting like you're gonna jump every day. Are you actually gonna do it?"

"Uh...possibly..I don't know...not today though..?" He squeaked out, though it sounded more like a question than a definitive statement. 

Minho nodded slowly, scratching the back of his head, "Well um..try not to, ok?" He said, biting his lip. 

Jisung blinked in bewilderment, "Ok," he replied, half-sarcastically. 

"You convinced Principal Kim not to suspend me, by the way," he said dryly, his gaze focused on the ground as he rocked back and forth on his heels, "Thanks," the corner of his mouth tweaked into what could almost be considered a smile. 

Before Jisung could say anything to further the conversation, Minho turned and fled the rooftop, leaving Jisung to be alone again. 

-

At the end of the day, Jisung headed to his locker to put some books away before he left school.   
He opened the locker door, and immediately yelped in terror when a fucking dead rat fell out of it, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" He turned around to see Seokun leaning up against the opposite wall, smirking evilly at him. 

"Why so upset, Han? I thought you'd appreciate it..yknow, since you like death so much," he drawled, walking closer to the boy.   
He pulled a dagger out of his pocket, quickly plunging it into Jisung's already-bruised abdomen. 

Jisung didn't even have time to react. He clutched his stomach, staring at the guy with his mouth hanging open. 

Seokun held up the dagger, which looked intact, "I'm just screwing with you. It's one of those fake, spring-loaded ones that retracts into the handle," he chuckled, watching as the boy give him a dirty look. He leaned in closer to Jisung, lowering his voice, "Next time, it might be real, though." 

Before Jisung could fully process the words, Seokun had already walked away. 

His shoulders slumped, he drew a shaky hand to clutch his abused abdomen. His bruises were aching even more than before.   
He returned to his locker, kicking the disgusting, dead rat to the side and put his books inside. He slammed the door shut, letting his gaze linger on the spray painted 'murderer' on it before walking away. 

-

Upon returning home, Jisung went straight to his room. He dropped his backpack on the ground, sitting on the floor in front of his bed.   
He let out a deep sigh, his eyebrows furrowing.   
The fabric of his sweatshirt rubbed against his arm, reminding him of the scratch that was there.   
He pulled his sleeve up, looking at the small wound. He recalled how relieving it felt to let out all that bad energy out in the form of blood.  
Jisung felt horrible, worse than ever. He HAD to do something to make all of it stop. 

Standing up, he went over to his desk, rummaging through his drawers. He groped aimlessly around the small space for-

"There it is," he whispered to himself when he felt a small, sharp object brush against his fingers. He grabbed it, pulling out of the drawer.   
An Exact-O knife; one that he had in his desk because of some school project he did long ago.   
He twirled it around in his fingers, watching at the shiny metal reflected the incoming sunlight from the window. 

-

The edge of the footboard on his bed dug into his back as he leaned against it. His head bounced against the side of his mattress as he stared up at the ceiling. He hoped that when he looked back down, the damage would be undone. 

It happened so fast. 

Jisung looked at his left arm, wincing at the sight. Several sloppy cuts littered the skin just below his inner elbow. Droplets of crimson fell onto his jeans and his carpet.  
He shook his head, standing up and grabbing a couple of tissues to hold against his wounds. He speed-walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. 

Tossing the tissues, he ran his arm under some cold water. The sink turned an alarming shade of pink almost instantly.   
There was a lot of blood.   
Once the water ran clear again, he gently dried his arm off, covering each of his wounds with band aids. He rolled his sleeve back down, wincing slightly at the friction.   
It was just one mistake.   
It wasn't gonna happen again.   
Everything is fine.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung makes an unexpected detour on his way home from school.

**_12:15pm August 20th_ **

Jisung approached the edge of the roof, dropping his bag on the ground and stepping up onto the little ledge. He looked straight down numbly, the view didn't make him feel any type of way any more.   
The possibility of being attacked of assaulted again was eating away at him, consuming him with paranoia. He looked forward to lunch every day, so he could just get away from all the anxiety.   
The roof was his escape. He could sit in solitude and enjoy his energy drink in peace. 

Sitting down on the edge of the building, his shoulders slumped as he got into a comfortable sitting posture.   
He sipped his drink, tugging gently at his hoodie sleeves. Last week's mistake still stung to be rubbed against his sleeve.   
He shook his head, swinging his feet restlessly. 

_'I won't do it again..I promise.’_

His stomach growled. He couldn't even remember the last time he ate three meals in a day. Ever since the incident, he could barely bring himself to eat, and it was taking a toll on him. He wasn't blind to what was happening. He could see how loosely his clothes were fitting, and the dark circles under his eyes.   
What could he say? It was what he deserved. 

-

**_2:05pm_ **

Jisung was heading to his last class of the day. He hated going from class to class; he could feel the menacing stares from other students boring through him. He kept his head down, speed walking through the hall to get to science class.

**_*crash*_ **

He crashed right into another student, both of their belongings falling onto the floor. He dove down to pick them up, looking up to frantically apologize to the person that he accidentally assaulted, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorr- oh.." 

It was Minho.   
Of course it was Minho, of all people. 

He apologized even more than he normally would've, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." He repeated, scrambling to pick up both of their books and papers. He looked back up at the boy, fear filling his eyes. 

_'Is he gonna beat me up again because I ran into him?’_

Minho was silent for a moment, standing there, glaring at him. He sighed, bending down and helping Jisung pick the stuff up, "No, I'm sorry, man. I wasn't looking where I was going," he mumbled, handing him a physics textbook. Once he gathered all of his own things, he got up and walked away without another word. 

_'Did he just..apologize..to ME?’_

-

After school was finally over, Jisung decided to take the long way home, just for a little change of scenery. He watched as different coloured cars drove by on the street beside him. The wind howled, becoming slightly stronger, causing him to huddle into his sweatshirt.   
It was the first actually cold day since school had started, which he was quite happy about. It meant he wouldn't have to wear short sleeves any time soon. 

He drug his feet along the sidewalk, taking in his surroundings peacefully..until he saw a cemetery.   
He bit his lip, a wave of dread crashing over him. That was the cemetery where Hyungmin was buried; his stomach churned at the memory of the incident. 

He looked across the street, to the mom-n-pop flower shop that sat nestled between a Mattress Firm and a strip club.   
He hesitated a moment before turning and crossing the street, not bothering to look both ways. It just slipped his mind..or maybe he secretly hoped a car would crush him. 

**_*ding*_ **

A bell sounded as Jisung pushed the door open to the dusty, old flower shop. He approached the counter, breathing slowly and deeply in an effort to control his anxiousness, "H-hi."

"Hi, son. What can I do ya for?" The chipper florist asked. He was an older man, his face decorated with a large, silver mustache and some wire-rim glasses. He looked like he could be someone's uncle. 

Jisung sighed, pointing to the cemetary across the street, "I need-uh-I need some flowers..please. For the-f-for the..someone over there," he stuttered out, mentally cursing himself for sounding so dumb. 

The man walked around the store, picking up some flowers here and there, collecting at least a dozen. He went back to the counter and tied them up with a pretty bow. Jisung watched the whole time, in an awkward silence. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket to pay. 

"Oh no no," the florist protested, "These are on the house," he said kindly, handing him the bouquet. 

"A-are you sure?" He whispered, hesitantly putting his wallet away. 

The man nodded, urging him to take the flowers.   
He complied, thanking him profusely as he stumbled out of the store. 

The wind was beginning to seriously pick up as Jisung crossed the street and walked into the cemetary. A chilling shiver went down his whole body, though he wasn't sure it was from the unseasonable cold or the fact that he was in a desolate cemetery. 

He walked by the rows of tombstones that decorated the grassy plot of land, his grip tightening on the bouquet. He read each engraved stone, waiting to find the one he was searching for. 

_Lee Hyungmin_   
_1996-2019_

His heart dropped into his stomach, his body going completely rigid as he stood in front of Hyungmin's grave. A bile-like sickness churned in the pit of his stomach as the events of that day replayed vividly in his mind. 

The way Hyungmin's eyes widened with fear as the life exited his body. 

The horrified gasp that escaped his pale lips as the blade plunged into his stomach. 

His grip on Jisung's shoulder loosening as his body went limp and lifeless.

It all came rushing back to Jisung in the form of tears dripping down his cheeks mercilessly.   
He dropped to his knees in front of the tombstone, laying the flowers down and burying his face in his hands, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.." He mumbled weakly, "You didn't deserve to die. I'm sorry.."

Jisung knelt there, totally still, until he'd pulled himself together and stopped crying. He looked back up at the headstone, sighing deeply as he wiped the remaining tears off of his cheeks.   
He was abruptly snapped out of his gaze when he heard footsteps from behind him, fallen leaves crunching under someone's feet. 

The person approached Hyungmin's grave, kneeling down right next to Jisung.   
It was Minho. 

_'Of course.'_

"Did you bring those?" He asked dryly, pointing to the flowers, then glancing back up at Jisung. His eyes were glassy and emotionless, just as they always were. 

He gulped, averting his gaze from the boy next to him, "Yes."

Minho nodded, his lips twitching into a small smirk, "Thank you..."

"You're welcome.." Jisung mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. He realized he should probably go, it's be awkward if he stayed, "Uh..Bye," He mumbled, standing up quickly and dusting himself off. 

Minho looked up at him, raising his eyebrows, "Bye," he smiled slightly, his fingers wiggling in the form of a tiny little wave. He turned his attention back to the headstone, and his smile disappeared as quickly as it had existed. 

Jisung walked away quickly from the him, his feet crunching on fallen leaves with each step.   
Before rounding a corner and returning to the sidewalk, he turned back to look at Minho one brief time. 

He was still kneeling in front of his brother's grave, motionless as a statue, with his hands clasped in his lap. Jisung couldn't see Minho's face but he'd guess that it was sullen and apathetic, much like it often was. 

Jisung returned to his walk home, watching at the sky was painted with streaks of pink and orange at the sight of the setting sun. His thoughts were swirling again-as if they ever stopped-and he couldn't stop thinking about Minho. He took away one of the people Minho loved most dearly, he took away someone's brother, someone's son, and maybe even someone's father or husband. 

_'I really am a monster. I ruined so many people's lives..'_

Jisung didn't know how he was living with himself, having done what he'd done. He didn't know how he could continue to live, knowing that someone else died at his hands. 

-

**_[11:07pm]_ **

Jisung promised himself he wouldn't do it again, but by the time he got home, and by the time he got lost in his thoughts for a couple hours, it was the only thing he could do to get it all to stop. 

There he sat, on his bedroom floor, covered in dried blood and tears. By the time he mustered up the energy to tend to his new wounds, most of them had stopped bleeding.   
He simply washed off the layers of caked-on blood until the sink water ran clear again. He wrapped some bandages around his forearm and pulled his sleeve back down.

Jisung felt better, a lot better.   
His head was finally clearing a little bit.   
He collapsed into bed, attempting to fall asleep. 

_'Maybe tonight, the nightmares will stop.'_

Oh yes, the nightmares.   
The horrifying images and feelings that penetrate the most sensitive parts of his brain, painting those sickeningly graphic pictures on the inside of his eyelids.   
Approximately once a week, he'd wake up to a panic attack in the middle of the night due to a nightmare or flashback. He wished it would all just stop.   
Maybe tonight, it would finally stop.

He pulled the covers up to his chin, his eyes tightly shut as sleep began to take him over. 

-

_Pit pat pit pat pit pat_

_Footsteps echoed in the back of his head. He kept walking, forcibly keeping his head down.  
He could barely make out the lines on the sidewalk, for the darkness was surrounding him. He couldn't look up even if he wanted to, the streetlights were blinding.   
He was on a street he didn't recognize, full of tall building that seemed to be closing in on him closer by the minute. _   
_Jisung just wanted to get home, but his feet weighed 200 pounds._

_PIT PAT PIT PAT PIT PAT_

_The footsteps got louder._

_He's coming._

_Hands grasped around him, spinning him around.  
He looked up at the figure._

_It was him._

_His skin was pale and rotten, peeling off of his skull right where his cheeks should've been. The exposed muscle and tissue dripped with blood. His eyes were sickeningly white and glassy, sunken into the sockets. His lips peeled away from his mouth, exposing his rotting teeth, "You did this to me!" He growled, his disgusting, boney hand grasped around Jisung's neck tightly, "Your mother wants a better son!"_

_"N-no!" He tried to scream for help, his yells turning into strangled sobs as the air was taken from his throat, "NO! Please no! No_ stop stop s-stop! STOP! Yaaah!" He finally pulled himself out of the horrible nightmare, sitting up in bed. His skin was damp with a thin layer of sweat.   
He could still feel that thing's hand around his throat, it was suffocating him. The room was spinning around him.   
He couldn't think straight, or have any kind of coherent thought. He buried his face in his pillow, waiting for the horrible feeling to pass. 

After a couple of minutes, his heart rate slowed down and he felt his body relax again. He was ok, everything was ok. He was in his own room, in his bed, totally safe.   
The images still flashed in his mind, but if he tried really hard, he could push them away and remind himself that it wasn't real. 

Eventually, sleep overtook him once again, and he slept peacefully the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung and Minho discover some shared interests.

**_12:14pm September 4_ **

Another day, another energy drink, another rooftop lunch.   
He pulled a mustard and cheerio sandwich out of his bag, unwrapping the saran rap and taking a bite. The weather was starting to be cold enough for him to not get heatstroke from wearing sweatshirts every day. The ever growing number of cuts on his arms were consuming him with guilt. 

_Footsteps_

He sighed, realizing that he was no longer alone. He turned to acknowledge the person who was now sitting down on the ledge, right next to him. 

_Minho. Of course._

"H-hey..what are you doing up here?" Jisung asked apprehensively as he gazed at the boy in question. 

The messy-haired boy admired the beautiful view of the city as he unwrapped his sandwich, "Well, you seem to like it, yah?" He asked, a smirk playing at the corner of his dry lips. His eyes were accompanied by dark circles, much like Jisung's. 

"I don't have much of a choice," Jisung began dryly, running his fingers through his messy, brown hair, "I can't go a day without getting bothered or harassed. I eat up here so I don't get jumped in the cafeteria," he mentally cursed at himself for playing the victim card that way, especially since he was talking to Minho of all people. 

Minho's face fell, his gaze moving down to the ground as he took a bite of his sandwich. A beat of awkward silence passed before he spoke again, "You don't deserve to get bullied like that.."

"Really?" He whispered, his eyebrows raising as turned to look at Minho. 

"I know, it's surprising coming from me," He chuckled, his bangs falling into his eyes, "Seriously, you don't deserve all of the harassment you get, especially from Seokun. He's kind of a dick."

"That means a lot..thank you.." Jisung mumbled, smiling slightly as his eyes met Minho's. For the first time, he didn't feel scared of Minho. As least, not completely scared of him. 

"I noticed you have a Cowboy Mummies II pin on your backpack," he said, his voice raising half an octave. He took another bite of his sandwich, "You like that one?"

Jisung tugged at his hoodie sleeves as the wind started to get stronger, "Oh? Uh-yeah aha, it's my favorite video game series.."

"Have you also played Graveyard Grandpas? The same company makes it!" Minho sat up a little straighter, his face lighting up with excitement.   
He caught a glimpse of his watch, his eyes widening, "Oh! Fourth period starts in 4 minutes. We should get going. Do you..wanna like,,,meet up for coffee after school?"

"Um..Yeah..sure haha. Sounds good," he replied, gathering his things together and standing up, "Where?"

"How about Kim's Koffee. We can walk there after school. Meet me out front when the last period ends," Minho explained briskly as he approached the roof's exit, opening the door and looking back at Jisung, "You coming..Ji?"

"Yup, coming," he mumbled, following him back down the stairs. They parted ways once they reached the hallway, heading to their seperate classes. 

Jisung's chest tightened anxiously as he walked away. He turned around to look at Minho real quick before he entered his classroom, his cheeks turning slightly pink. 

_'Hanging out after school? With Minho? Damn, never would've thought..'_

-

The remaining 3 classes seemed to go by agonizingly slowly for Jisung, and he had a pit in his stomach almost the whole time. He was actually kind of excited to hang out with Minho, but he was also nervous. 

_’What if he wants to get revenge on me by murdering me and tossing my body in a lake....or maybe he just..wants to be my friend?...probably the 1st one. At least then I won't have to throw myself off a building, he'll take care of it for me.'_

Eventually, the bell rang and Jisung headed toward the front of a school, keeping his head down in the hallway to avoid more harassment. 

Minho was waiting for him outside the front door, leaning up against the brick-lined exterior of the building. His hair fell over his large, dark eyes, though he didn't seem bothered by it. He kept his hands shoved into his pockets, his thumbs inside his belt loops.   
Between his teeth rested the end of one of his hoodie strings, which, unlike the other one, was worn and frayed. It must be a habit of his.   
Once his eyes rested on Jisung, he spit out the string, biting his lower lip as he approached the boy, "Hey. You ready to go?" He asked, his mouth twisting into a sincere smile. 

"I-uh-yeah," Jisung mumbled, smiling back at him, "So..where is Kim's Koffee? I've never heard of it."

"How have you never been?! It's where like..everyone goes. That's like saying you've never eaten kimbap ahaha!" Minho grinned, playfully punching the younger boy in the arm as they exited the school parking lot. 

Jisung looked up at him, "I moved here less than a year ago.. There's a lot of businesses around here that I haven't been to yet," he explained, scratching the back of his neck.

He almost scoffed, "But you've never even heard of it? Surely you've heard your friends mention it or something," he chuckled again.

"I don't have..any..-nevermind, you didn't answer my question. Where is this place?" Jisung asked. He was planning on making a joke about his lack of social life, but upon seeing the concerned look on Minho's face, decided against it. 

He nodded, simply replying, "You'll see."

-

After walking for probably 15 minutes, mostly in silence, Minho stopped at a suspicious-looking dark alley, gesturing for Jisung to follow him in. 

_'This is it. This is where I get murdered. He's gonna kill me now probably. Oh well, not like I'm not ready to die..'_

He instead, stood still on the sidewalk, "Uh Minho?"

Minho stopped and turned around, raising a confused eyebrow, "What?"

"This doesn't look like a coffee shop."

Minho chortled, glancing at the ground.   
He walked back over to Jisung, grabbing his hand and dragging him into the alley with him, "Trust me, Ji, you're gonna love this.."

The reached the end of the alley, which housed an undisclosed door behind a couple of empty dumpsters. Minho opened the door, introducing them to a flight of stairs heading down, "First timers go first," he said, motioning for Jisung to go down ahead of him.

The staircase was old and dark, but not at all dirty. The smell of coffee became apparent, and the sounds of laughing customers grew louder as he approached the bottom of the stairs.   
Before he knew it, he'd basically walked into a different universe.   
A vibrant, welcoming coffee shop surrounded him. 

Teenagers and young adults occupied chairs and booths, sipping tea or coffee and eating treats. Some of them were doing homework, while others were laughing and talking with friends. Soft R&B music played over the speakers, while color-changing lights radiated from various places, giving the whole cafe a speakeasy-esque vibe.

"Woah," he whispered, gazing around the establishment, "This is just..wow ok.."

Minho patted him on the shoulder, "You've been missing out, Ji," he sighed, pulling him to the counter where the baristas were, "Cmon, let's order."

"Hi, what can I get for you today?" The teenage-looking employee asked, smiling widely at Jisung. 

"Oh-uh-yeah-can I have-um-a black coffee with-um uh-4 shots of espresso please," he asked, fumbling for his wallet. 

Minho reached out to stop him, "Oh no no! I'll pay for both of ours. I'll have a matcha latte," he told the barista, handing her a ten dollar bill with a polite smile.   
He grabbed Jisung's hand again, leading them to a table in the back of the restaurant. 

"Thank you for buying me coffee," Jisung mumbled, sliding into his seat, "You didn't have to," he looked down, not wanting Minho to see that his ears were bright red. 

"I know," he began, sitting down across from him and resting his elbows on the table, "You said you just moved here. So where did you live before moving here?" He asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Busan. Before that it was Hong Kong. Before that it was New York. Before that it was Bangkok, and before that, I was born in Daegu," he explained, staring at the table.

"Are you a military brat?"

"No. My mom works for Gucci's Korea branch. She used to get transferred to wherever was the big fashion Capitol at the time."

Before Minho could ask any follow up questions, a waitress arrived at their table with two drinks, "One matcha latte, and one iced americano with 4 espresso shots," she said, handing them the drinks and leaving. 

"4 shots? Ji, are you, like, ok?" Minho asked, raising his eyebrows. He seemed genuinely concerned. 

_'Nope'_

"I live off of energy drinks, I'll be fine haha," Jisung sipped his death-juice, smirking a little bit at him, "Anyway, tell me more about Graveyard Grandpas."

-

The two boys ended up talking about their shared interest in video games for almost an hour, having long since finished their coffees. Most of the other patrons had left since the afternoon rush ended; the restaurant becoming much more quiet. 

"-and I can't believe they're not making a sequel to that game! It deserves better!" Minho sighed, finishing his rant. He leaned back in his seat exhaustedly. 

Several moments of silence fell over the table, Jisung staring down at the table once again, not knowing what to say.

Taking on a much more severe tone than before, Minho broke the silence by changing the subject abruptly, "I'm sorry, by the way."

"For what?"

"For beating you up," he continues, "I never actually apologized for it. I'm sorry."

Jisung forced a laugh, brushing it off, "It's ok, I deserved it anyway."

Minho shook his head adamantly, "No, you didn't. You didn't deserve it, and I'm sorry," he kept his eyes on Jisung, speaking with great sincerity. 

"Water under the bridge, Min. It's all good, really," he replied, smiling at him as he ran his fingers through his hair, "You ready to jam?"

Minho, who still hadn't moved his gaze off of Jisung, suddenly raised his eyebrows and sat up a bit straighter, "Uh-yeah haha ok sure," he giggled awkwardly, processing what the younger boy had asked. 

The two boys headed back up the dark staircase and exited from the dark alley, returning to the sidewalk. By this point, the sun had begun to set, illuminating the world in a soft, golden light. 

"Thanks again for the coffee. Also, I had fun hanging out with you," Jisung said, turning to walk in what he thought was the direction of his house. He stopped when he heard footsteps following him, turning around. He gave Minho a confused look, expecting him to say something. 

He ran his fingers through his mop of black hair, "I-I kinda thought that I was gonna walk you home..or something. Since you didn't know the place, you might not know the way home..and also it's getting late..I don't know.." He explained slowly, biting his lip and avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, ok," Jisung said, "Well the school was about twenty minutes from here and I live about 15 minutes from the school in the opposite direction..so yeah."

"It'll be dark by the time you get there, I'm definitely walking you," Minho was adamant about it now, walking with Jisung down the sidewalk.   
The two continued talking about miscellaneous things throughout the walk to Jisung's house, mostly just discussing video games that they liked. 

"Do you like Grand Theft Auto 5?" Minho asked innocuously. 

The younger shrugged, "I used to love it, but I don't think I've played it since...oh," he stopped talking abruptly, his body tensing up as he remembered. He looked down at the ground, "I-uh-haven't played in a while."

-  
 ** _Broken promises o clock_**  
 ** _9:46pm_**

Jisung sat at the foot of his bed, blade between his fingers and his sleeve pulled up. He stared at the single, new red line that trailed across his arm, dripping blood onto his carpet. He didn't know why he did it that time. It was just starting to feel like a habit, something he did as part of his routine. 

_*beep beep beep beep*_

His phone screen lit up, buzzing wildly.   
Jisung's breath hitched when he read the name on the screen, his chest tightening painfully.   
It was a Face Time call.   
He quickly wiped the tears off his face, taking a deep breath, and answered the call, "H-hey Minho," he said, his voice still raspy and weak. 

Minho's face appeared on Jisung's phone. He appeared to be in his bedroom, and wearing pajamas. The smile on his face fell once he saw Jisung, "Hey, hey are you ok? You look like you're crying," he said, his voice softening with concern. 

_'Fuck.'_

"I-uh-I was-uh-watching a sad video on YouTube," he laughed, wiping away a couple more tears, knowing how BS his excuse sounded as he said it, "What's up?"

"Oh ok...well I've got good news that will cheer you up," he hesitantly began, flipping the camera to show his laptop screen, "There's gonna be a Cowboy Mummies MOVIE coming out on Netflix!" He yelled, the poster of the upcoming movie on the screen.

Jisung sniffled, smiling through his tears, "That's awesome! I can't wait!" 

Minho turned the camera back towards himself, he smiled big, giggling like a little kid, "We can watch it together! Ooh! Movie night!"

Jisung felt the excitement bloom in his chest, distracting him from the pain in his arm and the tears in his eyes, "Yes! Definitely!"

"Hey, we can talk more about this tomorrow, but I've got a lot of homework to do. Savor Sophomore year, Ji. Juniors have it hard," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and grimacing, "BYEEE."

"byee.." Jisung mumbled right before hanging up the call. He turned his phone off and saw his own face in the reflection of the black screen. He noticed the giant goofy smile that had crept it's way onto his face, but that smile soon vanished when he was reintroduced to reality. 

_'Why does he want to be my friend so badly? After what I did to him and his family? Even more so, why do I get so excited around him? Are we..gonna actually be friends?'_

He stood up, putting his phone onto his desk and crashing into his bed. He shoved his face into his pillow, hoping to fall asleep soon.   
He tried to sleep, but thoughts kept swirling around his head.   
Thoughts of Minho.   
He couldn't stop thinking about Minho for some reason.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung and Minho have a sleepover

Over the next few weeks, the two boys continued hanging out, their friendship blossoming and flourishing. They returned to Kim's Koffee a couple more times, Minho even got Jisung hooked on Matcha lattes.   
They'd talked about everything from their similar taste in food, to their favorite childhood tv shows. The two simply loved each other's company. Their newfound bond was turning out to be good for both of them and before they knew it, they were becoming close friends. 

**_September 23, 12:24pm_ **

Jisung and Minho ate lunch together, as they had been doing every day for the last two weeks. They weren't on the roof this time, they were in an empty janitor's closet, at Minho's suggestion.   
"It's a nice change of atmosphere. Besides, it's been raining all morning," he said once they went inside and sat down on some upside down buckets.   
Cluttered, yes, but cozy nonetheless. 

"Cowboy Mummies: the movie comes out this Saturday. I can't wait!" Minho mumbled, taking a large bite of his peanut butter and salami sandwich. 

Jisung's eyes widened, his lips curling into a grin, "What if you came over and we watched it together. You can sleep over too if you want."

"Fuck yeah! Movie niight!! I'll bring snacks!" Minho pumped his fist in the air, accidentally hitting a shelf and knocking a bottle of soap onto the floor, "Ooops.."

-  
 ** _September 27, 5:35pm_**

While they'd hung out a few times in the recent couple weeks, Jisung was a bit nervous for Saturday, still. He wasn't nervous around Minho anymore, really.   
The problem was that Minho had never been to his house..and also he was sleeping over.   
Jisung worried that he'd have a nightmare and scare Minho away or something.   
He convinced himself as best as he could that nothing like that would happen. 

On Saturday afternoon, he cleaned up his room within an inch of its life, making sure Minho wouldn't find any blood stains on the floor or anything. He made his bed for the first time in weeks, and picked up all of the clothes from the floor. By the end, he was quite proud of himself for being so productive. 

-

**_7:30pm_ **

_*ding dong*_

Jisung ran to the door, pulling it open, "Hey!" He greeted, seeing his friend at his doorstep. 

Minho stepped inside, kicking his shoes off by the door. His arms were full with bags of chips and candy, "I brought snackies!" He said cutely, handing the younger a bag of cheese puffs. 

"Yay! Cmon, let's go!" Jisung said, grabbing his arm and pulling him up the stairs. They went into his room; dumping all of the snacks onto Jisung's bed. The younger boy shut the door and turned off the lights to enhance their movie experience, he then brought his laptop to his bed and cleared a space for it.   
Once he pressed play on the movie, he and Minho stacked up some pillows against the headboard of the bed to lay on, getting comfortable. 

Minho popped open the large bag of cheese puffs that he brought.   
Every few minutes, Jisung would reach into the bag for a cheese puff, and his hand would brush up against Minho's. It made his heart skip a beat every time, though he didn't really know why. He figured that there was a small part of him that was still a bit scared of Minho.   
No matter, Jisung liked being around him. He really liked it. He liked talking to Minho, spending time with him, eating lunch with him, and watching movies about video games with him.   
Jisung stared at the laptop screen, despite having long since zoned out. He smiled to himself, an unfamiliar warm and fuzzy feeling spreading through his body. 

Finally, Jisung had a friend. Someone who he could trust. Someone who made him feel safe. Someone who he cared about. 

Finally, Jisung was kinda happy. 

-

**_9:30pm_ **

"Wow, that movie was awesome! I loved the part when the captain got decapitated. What'd you think, Ji?" Minho rasped, licking his fingers clean of Oreo crumbs and tossing the empty snack containers off the bed. 

Jisung glanced up at him, smiling, "Yeah, it was good. Thank you for coming over to watch it with me."

"Don't thank me. That makes it sound like I'm only hanging out with you as a favor. Y'know, I really like hanging out with you, Ji," He chuckled, his eye smiles becoming more apparent as he grinned. 

Jisung nodded, "Oh, uh yeah, sorry. Do you wanna watch something else? You mentioned yesterday that you like Attack On Titan right?"

The older boy's eyes lit up, "Yeah! Let's watch it!" 

Jisung searched on Netflix and found the show, clicking on an episode.   
Both the boys shifted around under the covers to get comfortable, Jisung tiredly rested his head on Minho's shoulder, the older responding by running his fingers through the younger's soft, brown hair, humming gently under his breath. 

As the minutes passed and the episode ended, both the boy's eyelids grew heavy as exhaustion consumed them. Jisung shut his laptop and set it down on the floor beside his bed.   
Neither of them really moved much, only scootching further down in the bed to get comfortable, Minho shifting a bit closer to Jisung.

Jisung's eyes fluttered shut. He went to grab at his blanket, but instead he accidentally grabbed Minho's hand.   
He was about to pull away and let out a string of apologies, but before he could, Minho laced his fingers through Jisung's, letting out a soft hum to signify that he was ok with it.   
His hand brought warmth to Jisung's usually-cold skin, his grip comfortably firm. 

Jisung's heart skipped a beat, and his cheeks heated up to alarming levels, "Goodnight, Minnie," he mumbled, biting back a sleepy smile as unconsciousness took over. 

Minho rubbed his thumb over the back of Jisung's hand, "Goodnight, Ji," he whispered, snuggling just a little bit closer to the boy before he drifted off to sleep. 

-

_Jisung was in an empty field, grass as far as he could see._

_Footsteps. Footsteps again._

_They were still far away, but getting closer._

_He looked around. One single tombstone sat in front of him. Untouched. Unmarked._   
_Not even a name._

_Voices._

_He didn't know whose, but it was voices, a lot of them. They were all trying to tell him things, but he couldn't understand them._

_The footsteps were getting louder._

_A rotted, zombie hand burst from the ground beneath him, grabbing Jisung by the ankle. He tried to scream but there was no one to save him. His skin burned where it was touched, the severed hand searing his ankle to the bone._

_He was pulled into a hospital room._

_His mother was crying in the corner._

_He couldn't move._  
 _He couldn't speak._  
 _He was alone, and helpless._  
 _He was trapped inside the cage that was his body._

_"This is for Hyungmin."_

_It was Seokun's voice, but it was coming from a cowboy mummy in a nurses uniform. The mummy held a large knife, and the blade was getting closer to Jisung's throat._

_He tried to get away, but more mummies appeared, holding down his arms and legs as they screamed at him._

_The voices belonged to them. They voices got louder and louder until Jisung couldn't hear himself think.  
The walls were closing in and the knife was getting closer. He couldn't take it. He just couldn't. _   
_He couldn't think, he couldn't move, he couldn't even breathe._   
_He wanted to scream, he tried as hard as he could but he..but he..but-_

"Jisung! Jisung! Please, Jisung! It's ok! Everything is ok! Please calm down!" Minho rasped, bracing Jisung by the shoulders until he stopped squirming around. 

Jisung finally was brought back down to earth, letting out a deep breath as he looked around in a state of full panic, "AARGH-wait-woah-what w-what happened?!" He stopped, relaxing under Minho's grasp slightly. He then realized he had tears running down his cheeks. He covered his face in his hands, embarrassment consuming him when he realized that Minho saw him go full-panic-mode out of nowhere. 

Minho slowly let go of his shoulders, instead rubbing Jisung's arm sympathetically, "I..uh..I heard you breathing all weird in your sleep, and then you started crying..and then you started shouting and shaking..and so I tried to wake you up," he slowly explained, "Did you have a nightmare or panic attack or something?"

They both laid back down in bed, pulling the blanket up to their chins, "Y-yeah. I sometimes get nightmares. This was one of the worst ones..I've had," he croaked, wiping the rest of his tears, "I'm sorry you had to see that, and sorry for waking you up."

Minho reached up and ruffled Jisung's hair, "Don't be," he sighed, "I'm not upset. You did scare the crap out of me for a second though. I though you were dying or something," he said, shoving his face further into his pillow. 

Jisung grabbed Minho's hand, holding it close to his chest as if it was a teddy bear, "Y-yeah, I thought I w-was dying too.." He paused, shifting around in the bed to get comfortable, "Well..goodnight, min. Thank you for being such a great friend, man," he whispered sleepily, his eyes fluttering shut as he sunk further into the soft, twin mattress. 

"I-*ahem*-I think you're my best friend...Goodnight, Ji" he whispered back, ignoring the pounding of his heart behind his ears. He adjusted his grip on Jisung's hand, holding it a little tighter.   
He began to get lost staring at the sleeping Jisung next to him. The way the moonlight came in from the window, casting a soft light on his face and illuminating his gentle features. His chipmunk cheeks puffed out when he was asleep, his lips still slightly swollen from his nightmare-induced tears, and his long eyelashes casting the faintest of shadows across the tops of his cheekbones. 

Minho found himself biting back the stupid grin that crawled it's way onto his face; a comforting warmth ebbed and flowed throughout him, gaining strength with each passing moment, "You're beautiful, Ji," he whispered, confident in himself, knowing that Jisung was definitely asleep, "Very beautiful..." He finally let his eyes flutter closed, succumbing to his need for sleep. 

He was unsure of what was to come, and he was unsure of his feelings at the moment, but Minho was certain that he loved spending time with Jisung. He was certain that Jisung was his best friend.   
He was certain that he was finally kinda happy again. 

-

The next morning, both boys awoke with a stir by the light of the sunrise shining in through the window.   
Jisung realized once he gained consciousness that he had a pair of arms tightly wrapped around his torso. When he remembered that the arms belonged to Minho, he felt himself smile. Under the older's embrace, it was so comfortable and warm and Jisung didn't want to move ever. 

Minho tried to sit up to get out of bed, but Jisung clung to him tighter, "Noo! You're warm..and soft..and please don't get up!" The younger whined. 

"It's almost 10:00am, we gotta get up," Minho freed himself from the kid's grasp and got out of bed. He pulled at Jisung's arm in an attempt to get him up, "Get uupp!! Ugh you're really not a morning person, huh?!"

Finally, after quite a bit of coercing, Jisung got out of bed, carefully stepping around the snack bags on the floor, "Ok ok, I'm up. What do you wanna do?"

They walked out of Jisung's bedroom, going downstairs, ""How about breakfast?"

"Oh sorry, I don't usually eat breakfast, but if you want something-"

"Ah, no wonder you're so skinny, Ji. Yah, let's eat something," he insisted, dragging him into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator, "Ah! Leftover rice and beef! You want that?"

Jisung chuckled, walking to the pantry, "Maybe just cereal and some coffee, min," he grabbed a box of Cheerios from the pantry, along with a can of espresso, and sat down at the table, "So we have all day. Anything you want to do?"

Minho's eyes lit up, he tapped his chin, "Actually, yes! Do you want to walk to the lake? It's good weather today and you live kinda close," he said sitting at the table across from Jisung. 

He smiled at Minho, "That sounds good," he took a sip of his coffee, "Thank again for coming and watching that movie with-"

"Oh my god, Ji, stop thanking me for wanting to hang out with you!" Minho whined sarcastically, facepalming, "This isn't charity work, you idiot. Remember what I said about you being my best friend?"

"Y-yeah.."

"Yeah! Do you want to be Best friends or not?" He asked bluntly, shoveling a handful of Cheerios into his mouth. 

Jisung bit his lip, smiling widely as happiness flowed through him, "Yes, I do."

"Mmhm good," Minho finished his bite of food before continuing, "First order of business, you need to stop apologizing for everything."

"I don't do that-"

"- last night you apologized for having a nightmare, two seconds ago you apologized for not eating breakfast, and when we were going to sleep last night, you ALMOST apologized for grabbing my hand. Don't lie, cause I could tell that you thought about apologizing for it."

Jisung sighed, chuckling, "You make a point. I'm sorr-no! No, I'm not sorry! Ha!" 

Minho took another bite of food, nodding, "There you go! That's wassup!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minho takes Jisung to a lake

**_September 27, 11:00am_ **

The boys arrived at the lake that Minho had promised Jisung lived close to, and he was right in the fact that it was close. It was only a 10ish minute walk. 

They walked out onto the pier, sitting down right at the edge of it, with their feed dangling only a little above the water.   
All was quiet and serine. Void of any annoyances that they'd usually be dealing with. 

"I can see why you wanted to come here. This is really nice," Jisung sighed, glancing over at Minho, who looked quite calm aswell. 

He nodded, taking a deep breath, "My dad used to bring me here all the time as a kid. It was my favorite thing about the summer, coming and spending the day here."

Jisung bit his lip, his gaze moving over the large expanse of water in front of him, "Cool. coolio. Cooleroony. Cooool-sorry.."

A long silence grew between then, but it wasn't an awkward silence. That quiet was welcomed like an old friend. It was comforting. 

Jisung glanced over at Minho, taking in the details of his face. His chiseled jaw, his bright, amber-tinged eyes, and his infectious smile. 

_'He's..handsome. Wow, like really handsome. And cute haha. Very cute.'_

He felt his cheeks get warm and chills go down the back of his neck. Quickly looking away, he took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pounding in his chest. Ok NOW the silence was kinda awkward. 

After another couple minutes, Minho scooted slightly closer to him, clearing his throat before speaking,   
"I forgive you," he said simply and monotonously. 

It took a couple of seconds for Jisung to register the words. His chest constricted, his heart falling into his stomach, "W-what?!"

"I forgive you, Jisung, for what..what you did," he said slowly, putting his hand on top of Jisung's, giving it a little squeeze. He took another long pause; making it clear that it was difficult for him to talk about it, "Hyungmin was my brother, and I loved him...but he wasn't an angel, not like people say he was."

Jisung's breath was taken from him for a moment, he looked at Minho with wide eyes and rosy cheeks, "What do you mean?" 

He nodded, lacing his fingers with Jisung's and staring at the water below him, "He was my f-family, so of course I was supposed to love him..but there were times when he would come home in the middle of the night with other people's credit cards..there were t-times when he-when he took money out of my dad's wallet to buy booze..and...he..," he trailed off a little at the end, his gaze following the ripples of the water as if it were going to lead him to the end of his sentence. 

"He abused me," he said finally.

"He did?"

"I guess, yeah. Now that I think about it Hyungmin..abused me. I-I always brushed it off like 'oh we're brothers, that's just how it is' but no no..he WAS abusing me!"  
Minho rubbed his forehead hard, letting out a slight groan before continuing, "When we were younger, he would..ahem..touch me inappropriately, he would...he stabbed me once..he threw me down a flight of stairs!"

Jisung let out a slight gasp, his eyebrows raising as he focused all of his attention on Minho, "Oh my god..what the fuck-"

"Every time our dad punished him or fought with him, Hyungmin would take it out on me!Sometimes he would use sharp objects..My dad never did much to stop him,,oh my god!" His voice cracked, going up and down in pitch wildly as he went on. Before he knew it, he was basically yelling, "You know how I got this scar right next to my nose?!" 

Jisung hummed for him to continue, eying up the faint indented line that trailed from the inner corner of Minho's right eye to his nostril. He tightened his grip on Minho's hand, hoping it would soothe him a little...it didn't. 

"I was six and he was eleven. Hyungmin-Hyung got suspended from school one time, and dad grounded him for a month. Hyungmin-hyu-uh-hm-he came upstairs and I started asking him about what happened..he took uh,,he took an eXACTO KNIFE to my f-face.." He took a deep breath, turning to look at Jisung.   
Minho's eyes were bloodshot and glassy, with tears about to start falling, "He made my life a living hell EVERY FU-FUCKING DAY!" He rasped, suddenly letting out a loud sob, his body trembling, "I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HA-I HATE HIM! I HATE HIIIM!" He yelled, the words echoing out across the expanse of the lake. Another sob escaped his swollen lips, soon followed by another. He slammed his free hand down hard onto the pier, immediately burying his face in his hands, and continuing to cry. 

Jisung hesitated, not quite knowing what to do for a second.  
He wrapped his arms around the distraught boy, pulling him close, "He-hey.oh.. Shh ok..H-Hyungmin is gone. He's gone and you don't have to worry about him anymore..oh..it's ok, Minnie, everything is gonna be ok.." He cooed in his ear, carding his fingers through Minho's hair. 

Minho had buried his face into Jisung's chest, his hands wrapped tightly around his waist. His periodic sobs were muffled by Jisung's sweatshirt, "Mmf-I-I'm glad h-he's dead..I'M GLAD HE'S D-DEAD.." He choked out, his throat burning from holding back his tears before. 

Jisung would normally say "Oh, don't say that" but he knew it wasn't exactly the right time; he rubbed Minho's back in an attempt to soothe him, his heart hurt seeing Minho so upset. He wished he could just fix everything, but he couldn't. 

After a couple of minutes of just staying like that, Minho managed to pull himself together, letting go of Jisung and groaning as he rubbed his eyes, "I'm really sorry about that, Ji. I don't..I don't normally cry like that..hell, I didn't even cry at his fu-funeral...I'm sorry," he let out one last little hiccup, sniffling and avoiding eye contact with Jisung. 

Jisung reached up and wiped a tear off Minho's cheek, then rubbed his shoulder sympathetically, "Don't apologize, Min. Maybe it was about time you cried. I mean..do you feel better now? Like you got some of the emotions out, yah?" He pulled Minho in for a brief hug, ruffling his hair like Minho would often do to him. 

_'Man, his hair is soft, and he kinda smells good. Is that weird to think about? Eh, I'll worry about that later.'_

Minho gave him a watery smile, reaching out and grabbing Jisung's hand again, "I do feel better..Thank you for understanding," he whispered, biting his lip to hold back another wave of tears. 

"I always will, Min," Jisung replied, tightening his grip on Minho's hand.   
They stayed like that for a while; holding hands, watching the water with contented smiles on their faces, just forgetting the world. It was just them.   
It was enough.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Jisung’s birthday, and Minho plans something special for him

**October 4, 9:12am**

_*ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong*_

"OH MY GOD, I'M COMING! DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST!" Jisung yelled, running out of his room and down the stairs.   
He couldn't imagine who could be ringing his doorbell like a madman on a Sunday morning. 

Of course, it wasn't ANY Sunday morning. It was Jisung's 16th birthday. His mom, bless her heart, had an important business trip that weekend. She'd celebrated with him on Friday, so it's not like she forgot.   
She also gave him $150 to spend however he'd like over the weekend.   
"Invite Minho over and order 20 pizzas. Throw a party, even. I don't care. Just don't destroy the house," were her exact words actually. 

Jisung reached the front door, unlocking it and pulling it open. He let out a small gasp when there was no one there, until he looked down and saw, on the doorstep, a large box of..paint?

He inspected the contents of the box more closely. Yup, paint. Mini cans of paint, in a dozen different colors. Of course there were also brushes to go along with it aswell, "What the fu-"

"HAPPY SIXTEEN, JISUNGIE!" Minho yelled, suddenly standing in front of him. He jumped over the box and wrapped his arms around Jisung, nearly making him lose his footing. 

"Woah there, warn a guy before tackling him," the birthday boy chuckled, steadying himself before going to pick up the box of paint, "I wasn't expecting you."

"That's why it's a surprise, dummy," Minho cawed, closing the front door and turning back around to look at him. 

Jisung continued further inspecting the box of miscellaneous painting supplies, "So..paint. Thank you,,for this.." He said, unsure of himself. He wasn't ungrateful, but just kinda confused.

Minho braced Jisung by the shoulder, getting him to look him in the eyes, "Ji, the paint isn't your present..well it kind of is. Ok the thing is, this paint..is for your locker!" He said, excitedly bouncing up and down. 

Jisung raised his eyebrows, setting the box down, "My locker?"  
He'd grown so accustomed to the 'murderer' painted on his locker, he'd forgotten it was there, "We're gonna paint it?!"

"Happy birthday, Ji!" Minho yelled, crossing his arms triumphantly, before suddenly remembering something, "Wait, hold on, don't thank me yet! There's one more thing I got you."

"Ooh, what is it?" Jisung asked, filled with excitement. He stepped closer to Minho to see what he was about to give him. 

Minho fished around in his pocket for a few seconds before finally finding what he was looking for, "Aha! Here it is!" He opened his hand, revealing a mound of thin, silver chain, with a pendant on it. 

Jisung grabbed it, holding it up so he could get a closer look. The pendant was a little, black, energy drink can. It was so cute, and it was so Jisung. 

Minho glanced down at the ground, twiddling his thumbs, "I know it's kinda kitschy haha. It's ok if you don't like it, I kept the recie-"

He was cut off when Jisung suddenly threw his arms around him, embracing him tightly. He nuzzled his face in Minho's shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut to keep from crying out of happiness, "I love it, min. I love it so much," he whispered.   
It wasn't just the necklace.   
Minho had paid attention to what he liked, and gave him two really thoughtful gifts. Minho really cared about him, which was something that still surprised Jisung. 

Minho stumbled back a little just out of surprise, wrapping his arms around Jisung's thin waist, "Good," he squeaked, biting back a stupid smile as he and Jisung separated a moment later. 

Jisung handed him the necklace, "Can you put it on me?" He asked, turning around. 

Minho hummed in reply, leaning forward so he could see, he carefully clasped the chain around Jisung's neck, his hands then landing on Jisung's shoulders, gently massaging them for a moment, "Are you using a new shampoo? You smell good," he regretted saying that as soon as the words came out of his mouth.   
He let go of Jisung, attempting to backpedal, "I mean-uh-sorry that sounded way creepier than I meant it to-sorry-it's not like I was smelling you-"

"-DUDE," Jisung cut him off, turning around and bracing him by the arms to get his attention, "Remember what you told me about not apologizing too much? Take your own advice."

Minho glanced anywhere but Jisung's eyes, nodding shyly, "Oh,,ok. Yeah."

"And for what it's worth, I actually am using a new shampoo. Thanks for noticing," Jisung smiled at him, winking cutely. 

-

"How are we gonna get into the school? It's closed."

"Ahh. Naive, you are, birthday boy. Never underestimate the power of a faggot with a tambourine," Minho mumbled, pulling a lock picking kit out of his back pocket. 

Jisung almost choked on his spit, "Woah what?!"

Minho shrugged, "I don't know. I was just quoting a meme. Anyway, I'm gonna pick the lock," he said, pulling out some tool from the kit and fiddling with the door for a minute, "God, this looks so much easier in movies."  
After a couple minutes of awkward fiddling, and cursing at himself for messing it up, he finally got the door open, "Ta Da!"

They went inside, wandering through the dark hallways in silence until they got to Jisung's locker, "Well, I hope you're good at painting in the dark."

There was barely enough natural light for them to see the locker, let alone enough to decently paint it. 

"Idea!" Jisung announced, pulling out his phone and turning the flashlight on, he set it up against the opposite wall do it shone onto his locker, "There. Ok, let's get started!"

They started pulling out all of the paints and opening them up. 

"So I have beige paint in case you just wanna keep it plain, but I assumed you'd opt for something more..you. There's everything in the rainbow, and black too," Minho explained, smiling at him. The dim lighting left most of his features shadowed, but his infectious smile still got to Jisung loud and clear. 

"You know me so well, min," Jisung chuckled, picking up a paint brush and a small container of pink paint, "I'll start on the M. Can you put some purple on the U and the first R?"

Minho picked up his own paint brush, "On it, Ji."

-

"Ok, done with covering Murderer..now we should add some fun stuff to it," Jisung sighed, scooting back to look at the big picture, "I'm gonna put the Cowboy Mummies logo on it."

"What should I draw?" Minho cocked his head to the side, picking up a can of purple paint. 

Jisung was already getting to work on his own masterpiece, "Paint whatever you want, I trust your taste...Actually, paint whatever, except please don't paint a dick..or an ass. Or any body parts for that matter."

"Damn, I was gonna put some giant tits on your locker," he mumbled, dipping his brush in some blue paint, "I'll give you some pretty flowers, cause that's all I know how to draw."

Jisung scootched closer to him to get a better angle for his own painting. He didn't realize how close they were until he glanced over at Minho and realized their faces were only a few inches apart; he could almost feel Minho breathing on his neck. Jisung's gaze flickered down to Minho's soft-looking lips before coming right back up to his eyes. He nearly gasped, scooting back away from him and continuing his painting as if his ears weren't suddenly bright red and his heart was beating a million times per minute.   
Thankfully, Minho didn't seem to notice at all. 

A little while passed before either of them spoke again. They simply painted in silence, and in the dark.

"This really is a fantastic birthday gift," Jisung said finally, smiling to himself, "God, seeing that thing every day..it sucked."

"Speaking of 'that thing's, I can't believe Seokun never got in trouble for this," Minho groaned, sneering at even saying his name. 

Jisung stopped, setting his paint brush down, "You know FOR SURE that it was Seokun who did this?" He asked, pulling anxiously at his sweater paws as he waited for an answer. 

Minho snorted, "Very sure. He went around bragging to all of his friends about it.." He explained, looking everywhere but Jisung's eyes, "I can't believe I was ever friends with that douche."

Jisung stood up suddenly, motioning for Minho to do the same, "What if we gave him a taste of his own medicine?" He mused, picking up the black paint and a large paint brush, twirling the brush lazily between his fingers, "Do you know where his locker is?"

-

From that day, there were two lockers at school that were painted. 

Jisung's; beautiful, with a big ole rainbow, some messy flowers, and a carefully detailed video game logo. In the very corner, were two sets of initials, painted thinly in black:   
**LMH**  
 **HJS.**

Seokun's; dented, scuffed, and scratched. Sloppily written in black paint, was only one word.   
**Inbred**  
Perhaps it was a harmless prank, or an act of vengeance.   
Nonetheless, It was well deserved.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of s*lf h*rm and/or s*icide

**October 5, 8:00am**

For the first time in a long time, Jisung wasn't dreading going to school. In fact, he even ate breakfast that morning, that's how much of a good mood he was in.   
Perhaps he was so happy because he was still on his birthday high, or maybe just excited to see Minho at school.

_'Because he's my best friend. That's why I'm excited. No..other reason.'_

He approached the school, actually walking with his head up instead of staring at the ground in fear. He was approaching the front doors to the school when suddenly everything went black. 

"Guess who?" A cute voice whispered into his ear, obviously belonging to the hands that were over his face. 

Jisung knew immediately who it was. He pulled the hands off of his face, turning around to face the person, "Hey Minnie," he greeted as they both walked into the building together. 

"Still wearing your necklace, I see," he tugged down the neck of Jisung's sweater to expose the pendant, "I should buy you jewelry more often. You look so good in it."

Jisung raised his eyebrows at him, smiling through the embarrassment, "Someone's confident today," he said, readjusting his sweater. 

Upon reaching Jisung's locker, Minho sighed in satisfaction, "It looks even better in the light."

He looked like he had more to say, but was cut short when a kid Jisung didn't recognize tapped him on the shoulder, "You're dead meat, Lee. He's coming," was all the boy said before walking away. 

Minho turned back to Jisung, "That's some kid I used to be friends with. Don't worry about it," he explained simply, with Jisung simply nodding in reply. 

"HEY!" A voice bellowed from further down the hall. 

Minho's eyes got as big as saucers, "I was wrong. WORRY ABOUT IT, "He whisper-yelled to Jisung. 

"HEY YOU!" The voice was closer, followed by stomping footsteps. It was Seokun, and he was clearly angry. He approached the two of them, red-faced and sweating, "IT WAS YOU TWO!"

Some kind of magical confidence that Jisung had never once had in his life suddenly came over him, "What are you talking about, bitch?" He asked, crossing his arms. 

"MY LOCKER!"

"What about your locker?" Minho followed suit, his eyebrows furrowing in 'confusion'. 

Seokun apparently didn't have the mental capacity to compute a white lie, so he immediately changed the subject.   
"I see The Murderer has found himself a little boyfriend. Careful Min, he might try to kill you, too."

"I've clearly forgiven him, why can't you?" Minho growled, his ears turning red. He bit his lip hard, as if to keep from saying something he'd later regret. 

Seokun turned his piercing stare toward Jisung, "He's only nice to you because you kept him from getting suspended that time. You mean nothing to him, you know that?" he sneered, poking Jisung in the chest with one of his big, ugly fingers. 

Jisung's confidence from before dissipated completely. He paled, completely frozen, and couldn't think of anything to say. Thankfully, Minho swooped in.   
He let out a low growl, grabbing Jisung's hand tightly, "Ji is a better friend to me than you ever were, Seokun. He's actually amazing, and funny, and thoughtful and beautiful and-" he took a deep breath, his eyes narrowing, "You're just a piece of shit that made his life miserable for months, so leave us THE FUCK ALONE and don't ever talk to me OR JISUNG again!" He demanded, mostly through clenched teeth. Knowing that his words could get them both killed, he made a mad dash down the hall, dragging Jisung along with him. 

Jisung held on tight to his hand, following him as they weaved in between students and turned sharp corners in their mad dash. He was shook, he'd never seen Minho that angry before, not to mention all the guts it took for him to stand up to Seokun. He was thoroughly impressed and proud. 

They finally managed to find an empty classroom. Minho opened the door and shoved Jisung inside, him following. He locked the door and even pushed a chair under the doorknob for good measure. 

Minho lets out a deep sigh, leaning up against the wall and rubbing his forehead, "I can't believe I just did that, oh my god, he might kill me. He might actually kill me, fuck!" He let out a breathy laugh, smiling in disbelief. 

Jisung stepped closer, standing right in front of him, "I won't let that happen," he said, puffing out his chest all confident-like, despite still being slightly out of breath from their great escape. 

Minho smiled, pulling Jisung close and wrapping his arms around him, "I appreciate that, Ji, but he could snap you in half like a twig," he mumbled, biting back laughter. He buried his face in Jisung's neck, letting out a muffled giggle, "I meant what I said by the way."

Jisung tightened his grip on the older boy's waist, "About me being beautiful?" He asked sarcastically, grinning at the compliment. 

"Well yes..and all that other nice stuff I said about you to Seokun. It's all really true. I think you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I think and you and I are good for each other," Minho said, holding onto him a little tighter, grasping at the fabric of his sweater. 

Jisung ran his fingers through the older boy's hair, his hand resting on Minho's neck. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes, "I...I was going to kill myself," he said. He'd been meaning to explain it to Minho at some point, he just didn't really intend on doing it right then. The words just kinda came out unexpectedly, like they often did when he was around Minho. 

Minho pulled away, his eyes widening, "Woah, What?!" He braced Jisung by the arms, "Explain please!" 

Jisung's shoulders slumped as he leaned up against the wall next to him, sliding down to the floor. Minho did the same, staring at him expectantly as he drew his knees up to his chest. 

"That day..on the roof..when you asked me if I was gonna jump," he began, chuckling slightly, as if to deflect the situation with humor. He rested his hand on Minho's knee, "I actually almost jumped a few times.." He cocked his head slightly, locking eyes with him. 

Minho was frozen for a couple of seconds, his mouth hanging open. He suddenly grabbed Jisung's entire arm, pulling it to his chest like it was a teddy bear, "Oh my god, thank you for not doing it." he sighed exasperatedly, resting his chin on Jisung's bicep, "Thank you.."

"Ahaha you're welcome?" Jisung leaned onto him, "I was seriously considering it..but after you came up to the roof that day..I started to rethink it a little bit..When we were at the lake, and you forgave me...after that, I stopped-uh-nevermind," he paused, realizing his Freudian slip. There he went again, letting things slip out. Fuck!

Minho played with the hem of Jisung's sweater sleeve, "What? What did you stop?" His voice broke slightly, he looked up at Jisung expectantly. 

"Nothing..it's nothing.."

"Jisung.." He warned, furrowing his eyebrows at him, "Ji, please."

He knew there was no getting out of it, and he also knew that Minho would find out about it eventually,   
"I-I can't say it, I can't. I'll just show you.." He sighed, pulling up his sweater sleeves, anxiously waiting for the inevitable judgement he'd receive. 

Minho stared numbly at the horrifying red lines that covered his best friend's arms, a sick feeling boiling at the pit of his stomach, "Ji..oh my god.." He said in a raspy whisper, swallowing thickly, "When?" 

"It started about a couple months ago...but I stopped," He said dryly, his voice lifting in pitch, "I'm sorry, Min," he choked out, his throat burning. He tried to hold back the urge to cry. He was terrified of what Minho would say. 

Minho pulled him close again, wrapping his arms around him and clinging onto him as tightly as he could, "If-if you ever feel like..like-like doing this again, talk to me, ok?" He croaked, sniffling. He pressed his lips onto the top of Jisung's head, "Jisung-oh my god.."

Jisung grabbed onto the older's waist, fingers curling around the fabric of his tshirt for some purchase, "Yeah, I-I will. I promise..I'm so sorry," he managed to say with his head buried in Minho's chest, stifling a sob. He was so ashamed of what he did, but if it was any silver lining, at least Minho didn't hate him for it. 

"Always come to me, Jisung. From now on." he whispered, a few tears dripping down his cheeks and onto Jisung's shoulder, "Please don't ever let it get this bad."

"I Promise, min," Jisung whispered, muffling another sob into Minho's tshirt. As ashamed as he was, he felt comforted and protected by Minho. He actually felt loved. Minho's words and his hugs wasn't gonna make Jisung's problem magically go away, but it did make it a little easier.   
That's all he wanted, was for things to be easier.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I’m sorry for not uploading for like 2 weeks. I don’t even really have an excuse, I’ve just not had the motivation to continue writing this story lately.   
> I’ve only got a chapter and a half left to write, so the uploads are going to be more frequent in the upcoming week. There’s only 3 chapters left, and that’ll be the end :/ but don’t worry cause I’ve got other things I’m working on too! Anyway, enjoy!

**October 14, 3:13pm**

Jisung tapped his pencil on his desk, having stopped listening to his teacher's lecture long ago. The last period felt like it had been dragging on for 3 hours.   
He had plans to go to the coffee shop with Minho after school, and had been looking forward to it all day.  
He glanced at the clock, counting down the minutes until class would be over.   
Just a little longer.   
Almost there. 

***riiiing***

Finally!  
Jisung shot up from his seat at once, rushing out of the classroom and heading further down the hallway to another classroom, one that hadn't finished letting out yet.   
The students of that class were filing out the door one by one.   
Minho walked out of the classroom, spotting Jisung almost instantly, "Hey Ji." he rasped, clearing his throat, "You ready to go?"

"You know it," Jisung put his arm around Minho, walking with him down the hall and out of the school. The sun was shining and wind was at bay, perfect day for a stroll.

"So, Min," he began, leaning his head on Minho's shoulder as they exited the school parking lot, "There's this..'Halloween charity costume gala' that my mom's company is throwing. I promised her I'd go. Do you wanna go with me?" He asked, looking up at him with puppydog eyes. 

"Well how could I say no to that face," Minho whined, ruffling Jisung's hair, "Yeah, of course I'll go. But do we need costumes?"

Jisung sighed, "Well the word costume is in the name, so I guess so. Y'know, I still have all my birthday money. We can go to the mall and get some snazzy costumes," he explained, rubbing his hands together excitedly, "I mean..if you wanna do that..today?"

Minho nodded, smiling slightly, "Yeah, that sounds fun. Let's go."

-

"Ooh! There's a Spencer's! Should we look in there?" Minho asked, pointing to a scary-looking store in the mall. They'd been walking around for nearly 10 minutes trying to find a store that would sell what they were looking for. 

Jisung scoffed, "Now unless we're looking for lingerie. I don't think that store sells ANYTHING 'sfw'," he chuckled.

Minho looked at him, raising an eyebrow, "So is that a HARD 'no' on the lingerie then?"

Jisung rolled his eyes, his ears turning red, "That is an ABSOLUTE 'no'. This is a classy party, so we need to look..well classy. Ooh! How about that store?" He pointed to a shop that had multicolored, fun suits hanging in the front window. 

They went inside, eyeing up the clothing racks filled with bold prints and crazy color combinations.   
Like a magnet, Jisung was pulled toward a suit that was way in the back of the store. He pulled it off the rack, eyeing it up and down. It was a dark red suit, decorated with gold embroidery, "It's perfect!"

Minho approached the rack, pulling out a similar suit that was pastel pink, but with the same beautiful embroidery, "And there's a similar one! We'll look like princes in these!"

Jisung's eyes lit up, he pointed at Minho, a smile forming on his face, "That's it! We can go as princes. Like,,Prince Charming, and...Other Prince Charming!" He grabbed Minho's wrist, dragging him to the dressing rooms excitedly, "Wanna do that?!"

"Do you even have to ask?" He laughed, going into the only open dressing room available. Jisung leaning up agains the opposite wall, waiting patiently for him to get done. 

After a minute, the changing room door opened, and Minho stepped out, looking dapper as ever in his pink slacks and jacket, even with just his tshirt instead of a dress shirt. He did a 360, followed by a few different poses. The pastel pink suited him perfectly, enough to make Jisung speechless for a second, "You-uh-it looks really good," he stuttered. 

Next, Jisung went and put on his own suit. He looked in the mirror, frowning at what he saw. The suit was his size, i.e. It was his size a few months ago.   
He was positively drowning in fabric, and it didn't help that he was kinda on the short side. It was the only suit in the store that had that exact design and was also that exact color. He didn't want another one, so he had to make peace with that one. 

"Ji, everything alright in there?" Minho asked from outside, his voice raising slightly. 

Jisung sighed, slowly opening the door and stepping out, "I look 12," he mumbled, crossing his arms. 

"Bullshit. You look..uh..Yeah, Jisung you look hot," he said confidently, though it caused both of them to blush slightly, "So what if it's a little big? I can take it in for you."

"You know how to sew?"

"I learned in Boy Scouts. It's actually kinda fun," he chuckled, approaching him, "But seriously, you look..well hot."

"Why do you keep saying I'm hot?" Jisung whined, going back into the changing room to change back into his own clothes. 

Minho smiled to himself, "Because you are. Anyone with eyes could see that."

Jisung was glad he had a changing room door between them, so Minho couldn't see him getting so flustered, "So are you, y'know," he said, exiting the changing room once he was done.

"Yeah, I know."

-  
 **October 16, 6:20pm**

"OW, you stabbed me with a pin!" Jisung yelped, lulling his head back because it was the only thing he was allowed to move. 

Minho was trying to tailor Jisung's suit, but to do that, he had to pin it. He made Jisung stand there completely still for like 10 minutes so he could pin the pants, "That's cause you keep MOVING. Just, stand still already!" He scolded, smacking Jisung's thigh playfully. He stood up quickly, looking him up and down, "Ok, 360 for me."

Jisung complied, slowly turning around. 

"Great! Pants look good. Take em off," he said briskly, grabbing the matching jacket off of Jisung's bed so he could pin it too. 

Jisung hesitated, "Ok..turn around," he mumbled, unbuttoning the trousers. 

Minho nodded slowly, turning around, "So I was thinking, for crowns, I could pick some cheapies up at dollar tree OR we could order some nice ones online? Thoughts?" He asked, tapping his foot as he stared at Jisung's plain blue bedroom wall. 

"Let's get some nice pretty ones, Definitely...Ok I'm done, you're good," he added at the end, carefully handing Minho the pinned pants, "Now the jacket."

"Yup! Here!" He shoved the jacket at Jisung, carefully laying the pants onto the bed, "Ok, arms out, please, so I can measure."

Jisung stuck his arms out, sighing, "Please don't stab me too much." 

Minho locked eyes with him, his lips curling into a smirk. He grabbed Jisung's hand, bringing it to his lips, "Of course, Prince," he muttered, kissing it gently.   
Ignoring his own reddening cheeks and escalating heartbeat, Minho continued measuring the jacket normally.

"Thanks again..for doing this for me," Jisung said, glancing at the floor. 

Minho chuckled, sticking a pin into the jacket sleeve, "No big, this is fun."

"Sewing?" Jisung mumbled, looking up at him. 

"Spending time with you, dummy."

-

**October 19, 2:06am**

_Running._

_Running and running down a disheveled street that had no end. He couldn't see past a few feet ahead of him, but he knew he was being chased.  
By who? That was a mystery. His feet were as heavy as cinder blocks, he was running in slow motion._

_Suddenly he was at school. All of the lights were off except the one directly above him. He was wearing his Prince suit, but it falling off of him. He couldn't stop it. He looked up, and was surrounded by everyone he knew. Friends, teachers, his mom, and Minho.  
They were all laughing, and throwing food at him. _

_"IT WAS YOU!!" A voice boomed, right in his ear._

_Jisung turned around._

_It was Hyungmin. Hideous, decrepit, and rotted, and wielding a sharp object. Before Jisung knew it, the creature was lacerating his body with an exacto knife. Brutally ripping through his skin; slitting his throat.  
Jisung could only watch as his own blood pooled onto the floor. Hyungmin kept on slicing him, but he wouldn't die already. It just kept going. He wanted to fight back, but he couldn't. He was stuck.._

“Waahh no!!" Jisung yelled, thrashing around in bed like a madman until he finally pulled himself out of the nightmare. He tried to recollect himself, but the room was spinning, and he felt like he was being strangled by invisible ropes, and he had a hundred thousand thoughts racing through his head all at once but he couldn't understand any of them. He didn't want to cry but it was too late, he was choking down sobs and wiping tears off of his cheeks. He was just so tired of the nightmares. 

His arms tingled, craving the touch of sharp steel again. It was like withdrawal, he needed to do it. 

Breathing heavily, Jisung leapt out of bed and stumbled blindly to his desk, where he opened his desk and felt around for that familiar object. 

_'Wait! You promised Minho you wouldn't do it again!'_

"But I really want to-"

_'YOU PROMISED.'_

"But just this once-"

_'CALL HIM. CALL HIM NOW.'_

Jisung groaned, shutting his desk draw and reaching for his phone. He turned his bedroom light on, sitting back in his bed. He opened a FaceTime call with Minho, hesitantly holding the phone up and uselessly trying to wipe away all of his tears before Minho answered.

It took only a few moments before Minho's tired face appeared on the screen, "H-hey. What's upp," he slurred, his eyes only half open. 

"Did I wake you up?" Jisung rasped, already regretting calling, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called-"

"No no no, it's mmkay. *ahem*," Minho paused, rubbing his eyes, "What's going on?"

"Do you mind if we just..chat for a few m-minutes, please," he hiccuped, trying to choke down another sob.

Minho furrowed his eyebrows, pulling the phone closer to his face, "You're crying. Jisung, talk. What's wrong?"

Jisung took an unsteady breath, wiping more of his tears, "Are you sure it's ok if I ve-"

"-Ji, tell me what's wrong right now."

"I had a nightmare..and I was gonna-uh-I was-well-I really needed to cut again-uh-and-um I almost did but I remembered what you said about coming to you when I felt like this-uh-so I called you," Jisung explained between sniffles, pushing his bed-hair out of his face, "I just..need a distraction."

Minho bit his lip, nodding slowly, "First of all, I'm proud of you. You did the right thing. Secondly..ok distraction distraction-um ok! So I heard that at lunch yesterday, some kid came up to Seokun and started playing Sweet Home Alabama!"

"That's fucking wonderful. Props to whoever did that," Jisung chuckled, giving him a bittersweet smile. Despite the throbbing in his head, or the ache in his throat, his delight was genuine.   
He was already beginning to feel a bit better. 

Minho's face lit up, "Also Super Junior is coming out with a new version of their lightstick, it looks way better than the old one," he giggled to himself, going off on a tangent, "Have you seen Got7's lightstick? It's hideous! ugh and Blackpink's kinda looks like a sex toy, not gonna lie. OH, AND IZ*ONE'S?!"

Jisung watched his phone screen intently as Minho jumped from topic to topic, his voice going up and down in pitch, his eyebrows lowering and raising sporadically, "You're cute," he blurted out, not entirely intending to say it out loud.   
Maybe it was because he was so tired, but he actually wasn't embarrassed to say such a thing to Minho this time, "Yeah..you're cute." 

Giggling, Minho covered his face, visibly flustered, "Oh haha, is this how you feel when I say stuff like that to you?" He asked, looking everywhere but at Jisung, "I don't normally get shy like this, but then again you don't normally call me cute so.."

"Yeah. It's a little taste of your own medicine," Jisung snickered, leaning back against the headboard of his bed, "Thank you for this, I'm feeling better now."

"Anytime Ji. Are you going to be able to go to sleep?" 

"I think so,,yeah definitely I can go to sleep. By the way, you know I'd do the same for you, Min," he said, glancing at his clock.

"I know, Jisung...goodnight!"

"Goodnight, Min!" Jisung waved cutely, ending the call. He turned off his light, putting his phone on his nightstand. He pulled the covers up to his chin and closed his eyes. It took almost no time at all for him to drift back away to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung and Minho prepare for the Halloween party, and something unexpected happens.

**October 31, 4:30pm**

After school that Friday, Minho and Jisung walked to Kim's Koffee for some coffee, like they often did in the afternoons. If fact, Jisung was officially considered a 'regular' now; the baristas even remembered his order, so he could walk up and be like "I'll have the usual," which made him feel totally cool. 

"We should go back to my place before the party?" Minho asked once they left the coffee shop, "Your suit is still there, and I ordered those crowns off amazon."

"Sounds good. I've never been to your house before have I?" Jisung asked, running his fingers through his hair and glancing up at him. They left the alleyway, turning the opposite direction they normally would go. 

Minho scratched the back of his head, gritting his teeth, "Yeah..don't expect too much. It's a lot smaller than your house," he mumbled, staring at the ground. 

Jisung didn't really know how to respond to that. He wanted to say something to make Minho feel better, but he also didn't want to patronize him. Jisung wasn't blind to the fact that his mom made good money, and they lived comfortably; he'd just never heard someone say it that bluntly to him before.   
He decided to simply change the subject, "Well, I know I already said it, but thank you again for tailoring the suit for me."

"Don't worry about it. I like sewing, heck maybe I'll be a seamstress after high school," he joked, nudging Jisung on the arm.

-

"Here's the humble abode," Minho said sarcastically, leading Jisung to his front door. 

It was indeed smaller than Jisung's house, but not as bad as Minho made it out to be. Neatly groomed trees stood in the front yard, and the front door was painted a lovely shade of red. 

The inside was as pretty as the outside. The walls were all black or light grey, some of which were lined with color-shifting LED lights. The living room and kitchen were filled with black, simplistic furniture with chrome accents. It was basically Minho's personality but in a house. 

Jisung felt like he just walked into a swanky nightclub, "Woah! This is so cool! Did your dad let you design the house?"

"Pretty much. We moved here a couple years ago. He said I always had an eye for design so he let me take the reigns," Minho explained, leading him down a hallway off of the living room. He went to the door all the way at the end of the hall, opening it and pulling Jisung inside. He flicked on the light, "Welcome to casa de Minho," he mumbled, sitting down on the twin sized bed that was up against the adjacent wall. 

"Oh," it was certainly not what Jisung expected. 

Plain white walls, free of any sort of posters or pictures. Minimal furniture; bed, dresser, and a desk with a sewing machine on it, all pushed to one half of the room. The other half was empty, with only some dents in the carpet that indicated that there used to be a bed there.

Jisung put the pieces together pretty quickly, but didn't have the opportunity to say it outloud, cause Minho beat him to it. 

"I know what you're thinking. He and I shared a room. Dad wasted no time selling his furniture. I haven't had the time to redecorate," he said plainly, laying down in his bed, "So anyway, we got awhile til we have to go. Maybe we should study or something," he seemed to be eager to change subject. 

Jisung hummed in reply, "Sounds good," he sat down on the floor, leaning up against the bed and pulling out a notebook and pens, "Want some music? I'm in an EXO mood today."

"Anything but Kokobop-"

"-I know I know ""the beat drop makes you wanna rip your ears off""," he cut him off, pulling out his phone and playing an EXO playlist. 

-

After listening to music and studying for about 20 minutes, Jisung suddenly paused the music, turning to look at Minho. 

He looked up, mildly annoyed, "Why'd you pause?"

Jisung held up a piece of paper, "I drew this for you," he said, handing him the drawing, "It's not much, but it's honest work," he said, smiling slightly. 

Minho examined the drawing for a few seconds, "Is this..the lake? The one we went to?" He looked up to see Jisung nodding.   
A large grin formed on his face, "It's perfect," he said, standing up and getting a piece of tape from the dispenser on his desk, "I'm putting it on the wall," he said taping it right above the headboard of his bed. 

Jisung sat back down, leaning up against the bed, "I'm glad you like it," he may have sounded cool 

"I love it, Ji. Thank you," he replied quietly, staring at the drawing with nothing but fondness. It was a simple sketch, with very little detail to it, but it meant the world to Minho nonetheless.

-

**October 31, 6:00pm**

"I think we should start getting ready now," Jisung announced, standing up from his spot on the floor and walking over to Minho's closet. He pulled his suit from a hanger, along with a black dress shirt that Minho said Jisung could borrow from him. 

Minho sprang out of bed, "Yeah yes, ok," he pulled out his pink suit and a white dress shirt. He laid the clothes on his bed neatly, pulling his tshirt off and tossing it onto the floor briskly. 

Jisung didn't intend to stare, he was simply surprised at how nonchalant Minho was about changing in front of someone. 

_'Damn, ok, that body tho.'_

He wouldn't lie to himself, Minho had a pretty nice, toned, tan torso. It made Jisung a bit self conscious about his own physique, but simultaneously, he couldn't stop staring at Minho. Next thing he knew, Minho was taking his pants off too. At that point, Jisung just turned around, not wanting to look like some kinda perv. 

"You can change too. Um, you can go into the bathroom if you want..to," Minho stuttered, buttoning up his dress shirt, still wearing only his bt21 boxer-briefs underneath. 

_'Fuck self conscious, I can do this'_

"Yeah, I'll change," he put his suit on the bed, pulling his sweatshirt off and tossing it on top of his backpack. He quickly grabbed the dress shirt and began buttoning it up. Trying to ignore Minho's wandering eyes which he was sure were on him, he finished putting on his suit as quickly as he could. 

After getting all dressed, he approached his backpack, digging through one of the pockets, "I brought-ugh where is it-Ah here! I bought this makeup a while ago and I thought maybe I'd wear some to the party tonight," Jisung explained, opening up the eyeshadow palette and showing Minho the colors, "What do you think?"

Minho examined the colors for a couple of seconds, "Go for it. But maybe stick with the grey and black shades, green would clash with your suit," he said bluntly, running his fingers through his hair. 

Jisung smiled, putting some grey eyeshadow on his eyelid, "What would I do without you, Min?" He mumbled, putting some black around his outer corners and some glittery silver underneath his eyes. He leaned back, looking at the final product, "Hm..ok done," he put the palette back into his backpack, standing up and turning toward Minho. 

The older boy walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. He pulled out two sparkly, silver crowns, placing one of them on himself, "Finishing touches," he walked back over to Jisung, invading his personal space just enough to make both of their hearts race a little bit. Minho locked eyes with him, his lips curling into a fond smile. He placed the crown on Jisung's head, his touch lingering as his fingers brushed through the boy's hair, "Stunning," he said, barely above a murmur. 

Jisung shuffled a bit closer to him, getting up on his toes so he could be eye level with him, "You too..but I think you're missing something," he whispered, smoothing out Minho's lapel and ultimately resting his hands on his shoulders. 

Minho raised his eyebrows, leaning in even closer, "What?" Their shared body heat threatened to make them both sweat.   
Jisung's eyes were filled with a fiery confidence that Minho had never seen before, and it intrigued him. He waited with baited breath for Jisung's next words, but was met instead with a soft pair of lips pressed against his own, sending an electrifying buzz through his body.   
After the initial moment of surprise, he closed his eyes, letting his hands rest on the younger's hips. 

After no more than a few seconds, Jisung pulled away, taking a large step back from Minho and letting out the breath he'd been holding in.   
He looked up at him, smiling contently, "Ok fixed it, we should get going about now. Cmon!" He said, nonchalantly as ever, as he left the room, motioning for Minho to follow. 

For a couple of seconds, Minho was frozen in his spot, his jaw practically on the floor. He momentarily questioned whether or not that actually happened, "Uh..y-yeah, I'm coming!" He said finally, shaking his head a bit as he pulled himself together and followed Jisung out into the hall.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the last one y’all. It’s finally here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a MINUTE since I last updated. Sorry lol. I’ve got about 5 other fica that I’m working on rn, so this one got pushed to the backburner For a bit.

**October 31; 7:00pm**

The walk to the party venue was a short one, maybe only 15 minutes. They were lucky to live in a town where everything was walking distance. 

Despite what had happened right before they left, things weren't awkward at all. They laughed and chatted just as they normally would the entire time.

"I'm serious dude! Seokun didn't learn how to read until the 5th grade!" Minho giggled. 

Jisung shook his head, "I can't say I'm surprised," he chuckled, glancing at Minho, "So what do you think this party is gonna be like?"

"Beats me. You know more about it than I do."

"Oh right..well it's funded by Gucci so it might be like really fancy and stuff. They're even calling it a 'gala' instead of 'party'," Jisung mused, "So hopefully, there'll be some good food."

Minho smiled to himself, his chest tightening slightly. Knowing that Jisung never really ate enough, he was happy to hear him be excited about food again, "If there isn't, we can leave and I'll take you to McDonald's and you can have as many French fries as you want," he said, putting his arm around Jisung. 

He smiled cutely at him, "Minnie, you're the best."

"I know."

-

The gala was even more grandeur than they both expected. White table cloths covered every table, waiters walked around with plates of little foods.  
Despite feeling a little out of their elements, the two did enjoy themselves.  
They were the youngest ones there, so they didn't really have anyone to talk to, but they did stay in the corner and judge everyone else's costumes while they ate the mediocre food.

Suddenly, the quiet, ambient music faded out and The Truth Untold by BTS started playing. Everyone cleared the dance floor, leave room for couples to go out and slow dance. Quickly enough, about a dozen couples were out there. 

Minho looked at Jisung, who was staring at the floor awkwardly.  
He took a deep breath, his chest fluttering a bit more than it probably should've been, "Do you wanna dance, Ji?" He asked, extending his hand to him, "Ironically, I mean."

A bit surprised by the offer, Jisung took his hand, "Well as long as it's ironic, sure. But-um-can we just dance here? There's so many people..over..there..," he trailed off, glancing at the ground. 

"Of course," Minho wrapped his hands around the younger's waist, pulling him close. Jisung laced his fingers behind Minho's neck, and got on his toes to they could be the same height. They were nearly chest to chest, mindlessly swaying back and forth. The intimacy, the shared body heat, allowed the rest of the room to melt away. It was just them.  
It was enough. 

Locking eyes with Jisung, Minho couldn't help but get mesmerized by them. Fascinating galaxies hidden inside striking deep hazel; it was enough to make Minho's chest tighten and his cheeks flush, "You're beautiful, Jisung," he whispered, biting back his smile. 

If Minho was mesmerized by Jisung's eyes, Jisung was completely hypnotized by Minho's.  
For the nth time, he was left breathless by him. 

Jisung was consumed by blind confidence, his judgement clouded by rose coloured glasses. Maybe it was the music playing, or maybe it was how gorgeous Minho looked. For once, Jisung didn't think about all of the things that could go wrong, only what could go right.  
He leaned a little closer, his gaze flickering between Minho's eyes and lips, "I like you," the words fell out of his mouth recklessly, his breath hitching in his throat, "I really like you, Min."

Eyes widening, Minho swallowed thickly, "Good," he breathed, pressing his lips onto Jisung's. He squeezed his eyes shut, savoring the feeling of Jisung's soft lips on his own for the second time that day.  
He might've been questioning if it was real the first time, but this time he was certain that it was. 

They slowly pulled away after a couple moments, still maintaining the closeness from before. Jisung ran his fingers through Minho's hair, not breaking eye contact with him. His heart was thumping loud enough to drown out everything else that was happening around them, "I-Uh-I take it that you like me too?" He asked finally, the shock of their kiss starting to wear off a bit. 

He leaned back in, giving Jisung one more gentle, chaste kiss, "What do you think?" He whispered, giggling slightly.  
It was at this moment that they both remembered they were in a room full of people, letting go of each other promptly. 

"So...you wanna get out of here and go to McDonald's?" Minho asked after a minute of awkward silence, glancing at him with a little smirk playing at his mouth. 

Jisung thought for a moment before suddenly grabbing Minho's hand, "You know it, man."

-  
_8:45pm_

The two decided to bring their McDonald's back to Minho's house, so they could enjoy it in the comfort of Minho's bed. 

"Are you sleeping over, Ji?" Minho asked, pulling out his house key and unlocking his front door. 

Jisung, who was holding two large McDonald's bags, hummed in response, "I want to, but I didn't bring any pajamas or anything."

Minho shrugged, pushing the door open and letting them both inside, "No big, just borrow some of mine," he said.  
They kicked their shoes off, walking back to Minho's room, where Jisung dumped off all the food on the desk. 

Going to his dresser, Minho went to his dresser, pulling out some basketball shorts and a tshirt, "Here," he tossed the ball of clothes at Jisung, reaching back in to the dresser to get some pajamas for himself.

After the two of them changed, and Jisung took his makeup off, they sat down in Minho's bed to eat their dinner. It was mostly a quiet meal, until they were finishing up their food and Jisung felt the sudden need to get all up in his feelings lol. 

"Min," He began. Taking a bite of his last chicken nugget, "Thanks for going to that party with me..and thanks for the food," he mumbled between bites, sparing the occasional glance toward him. 

Minho smiled, shaking his head slightly, "Well thank you for..for.."

"What?"

"For everything, Jisung," he said finally, taking a couple of shallow breaths, "You make me a better version of myself. You make me really happy. And I see that I do the same for you," he explained, grinning cutely at his own cheesy speech. 

Jisung nodded, grabbing Minho's hand, "You do," he leaned up against the wall, his head tilting to the side, "I like you so fucking much, Minho," he said finally, though the words came out as a raspy whisper. 

Leaning onto the wall as well, Minho locked eyes with him, lacing their fingers together, "Right back at you, Ji," he whispered, taking a deep breath before speaking once again, "When did you realize...that you had feelings for me?"

Jisung thought for a moment, "On my birthday. When we were painting my locker. What about you?"

He nodded, biting his lip, "Mine's a bit more complicated," he began. 

"I'm intrigued. Continue."

"The first time we went to Kim's Koffee together was when I realized how amazing you are, like, your personality," he ran his fingers through his hair, "But our first sleepover...I realized how..well-how absolutely beautiful you are."

"I heard you," Jisung whispered, glancing down shyly. 

"Hm?"

Jisung looked back up at him, tightening his grip on Minho's hand, "That night. You thought I was asleep, and you said I was beautiful...I may be beautiful, but you're breathtaking."

Minho hesitated for a moment before he leaned in close, running his fingers through Jisung's soft hair, "Can I kiss you, Ji?" He whispered, already feeling Jisung's shallow breaths on his skin. 

Jisung nodded in response, wasting no time closing the space between them. He kissed harder this time, no timidity to pull away at any second. Their lips moved together in harmony, both of them happier than they'd ever been. 

-  
_10:30pm_

The two decided to watch some Attack on titan before bed, curling up in Minho's bed, all comfortable under the covers. 

Jisung wasn't embarrassed to cuddle up to Minho this time around, he confidently wrapped his arms around the boy and rested his head on his shoulder. 

Minho surely wasn't complaining about that either. He ran his fingers through Jisung's soft hair, his other hand holding his laptop steady. 

Once the episode ended, he closed his computer and set it on the floor beside the bed, "You ready to go to sleep, Ji?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, giving Minho a sleepy kiss on the cheek, then another, then another.

Despite his efforts, Minho couldn't help but break into a fit of giggles, his cheeks turning bright pink, "Ah Jisungieee," he whined cutely, gently pushing him off.  
A few moments of silence passed as they shifted around in bed to get comfortable. 

"Minho?"

He was taken off guard by Jisung's suddenly serious tone that came out of nowhere, "Yeah?"

Jisung let out a shallow breath, grabbing Minho's hand, "Sorry if this is too much, but-well-um-" he cleared his throat and muttered a 'sorry' before finishing the sentence, "Do you want to be boyfriends?"

A beat of silence passed before Minho let out a long, drawn out sigh, "Jisung..." he began, throwing his arms around him and pulling him close to his chest. "Yes. A million times over, yes."

"Good," Jisung whispered, gently raking his fingers down Minho's arm, "Very good," he buried his face into his new boyfriend's chest, "By the way, have I mentioned before that you smell really good. Kinda like.."

"Hm? Like what?" Minho asked, chuckling as he raised his eyebrows slightly. 

Jisung took another sniff of his boyfriend, "Like laundry detergent, but with a touch of you in it. I can't explain it, but it's just your..scent. It's good, I don't know."

He nuzzled his face into the top of Jisung's head, "Hm, thanks, I think," he whispered into his hair. 

The darkness of the night hid the trail of touches that their hands made on each other's bodies. The duvet hiding their entangled legs and pressed together torsos and whispers of affection that were meant for only each other to hear. 

-

Minho didn't know how much time had passed, but he was still awake, and had another concern to address, "Jisungie. Jisung, are you awake?" He whispered, shaking his boyfriend gently. 

"Hmm I am now," he groaned, looking up at Minho with his eyes half open, "What?"

"There's one more thing we need to talk about."

"Right now?" Jisung wined, balling up some of Minho's shirt in his hand. 

He hummed in confirmation, "Yes, now."

"Ok. What is it?"

Minho stroked Jisung's hair, looking out his bedroom window at the night sky, "Jisungie," he began, biting his lip, "I want you to promise me that you'll get some help."

"Hmm?" Jisung's confused response was muffled into Minho's chest. 

"I want you to consider talking to someone, like a professional. Maybe our school counselor?" He explained, gently rubbing circles into the back of Jisung's neck. 

Jisung stayed quiet for several moments, thinking over what his boyfriend had said. He hasn't ever considered talking to someone before, since he didn't think he needed to, "I..I don't know, Min. Do I need to?"

"Do you-ugh," he sighed, holding onto him a little bit tighter, "Jisung, you went through a traumatic experience. You were, like, starving yourself, and hurting yourself..and stuff. You've been having nightmares for months, I think, right?" He kept his voice low and calm, something that Jisung appreciated, "I'm not saying you have to check yourself into a psych ward or anything. Just, maybe it'd be a good idea to see someone. You can talk out some of your feelings, and a therapist can help you understand them better."

Jisung let out a deep sigh. He heard Minho out, and when it was explained that way, it really made sense. Jisung did go through a lot. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone, "Ok..I'll go see the guidance counselor; on one condition."

"Ok, what's that?"

"I want you to go too," he sighed, nuzzling back into Minho's chest, taking in that Minho-scent that he liked so much, "Isn't that a thing? Like therapy buddies?"

Minho chuckled, kissing Jisung on top of the head, "Therapy buddies, yes ok, we can do that," he closed his eyes, still smiling slightly as his heart skipped a beat, "Thank you for agreeing, Ji. I feel much better about that now. Now we can sleep, yah? Goodnight, baby."

Jisung couldn't help but smile sleepily at his boyfriend's cuteness, "Goodnight, Min."


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash forward 8 years, Minho and Jisung give a toast at their wedding reception.

"I'd like to give a toast," Minho announces, standing up in his seat and smoothing out his suit jacket before picking up a microphone, "Thank you all for coming tonight, and joining us for this celebration of a momentous occasion in our lives. I'm so grateful," he paused, his free hand finding its way to Jisung's, "That I get to spend the rest of my life with the most incredible man I've ever known, the love of my life, Han Jisung."

He paused again, waiting for the applause to die down for a moment, "Well actually, it's Lee-Han Jisung now," he looked at Jisung, who was now standing next to him, and gave him a cute wink, "Anyway. This is the beginning out our lives together..and to think, it all started because he killed my brother!" They both burst into laughter at his punchline, until they realized that no one else was laughing. 

All of the wedding guests had been too afraid to laugh, instead exchanging concerned glances and concerned smiles. 

Jisung took the microphone from his husband, "Guys it's ok, he cleared that joke with me last night. It's not offensive," he chuckled, glancing around the room and then back at Minho. 

The guests gave a bit of polite laughter for a moment, quickly returning to their dinners on assumption that the toast was over. 

They grooms sat back down with a huff of frustration. Jisung leaned over to Minho, "Tough Crowd. Hyungmin's funeral had more laughs."

Minho smiled at him, shrugging, "No big, I can tell that one again at Kim's Koffee's Open Mic Night next weekend."

"True," Jisung grabbed Minho's hand again, resting his head on his shoulder, "And you know that I'll be there to laugh at it."


End file.
